Entertainment

06.10.13

‘Game of Thrones’: Sex, Starks, and Nudity by the Numbers

Threesomes! Hot-spring rendezvous! Bloodsucking leeches! The Daily Beast tallies all the naked moments from Season 3 of Game of Thrones.

Regular viewers of HBO’s hit fantasy drama Game of Thrones can be certain of two things: the violence is abundant, and the depictions of sexuality detailed in George R. R. Martin’s never-ending A Song of Ice and Fire novels will not be shied away from. They might even be embellished.

Game of Thrones
Helen Sloan/HBO

"Sexposition," a term coined by blogger Myles McNutt, describes the use of sexual scenes in Game of Thrones to deliver information to the viewer about the backstory and character's specific motivations, often relating to power. 

Way back in Season 1, AOLtv critic Maureen Ryan said of the constant nudity: "Sometimes Game of Thrones uses sexual scenes to shed light on character. But quite often, it shows naked women because it can. At times, the show appears to be trying to cover up clunky exposition with naked flesh, and at other moments, the vibe comes off as, 'Hey! It's HBO! Here are some boobs!' Sigh."

Although suprisingly, this season of the popular series appears to have less nudity and sexually explicit content than the first two seasons. In three episodes this season, explicit nudity and nothing-left-to-the-imagination sex scenes were swapped for heavier, meatier (ahem) plotlines, like the Red Wedding in Episode 9, where several of the show’s major characters were killed off, and no anatomical bits were shown.

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Regardless of HBO’s motives, the show's naked bosoms and behinds won’t be clothed anytime soon. The Daily Beast has tallied the total instances of nudity in Season 3 overall, occurences in each episode, and given up to five dragons to the most salacious installments. 

SEASON 3 TOTALS:

Chests (male): 7

Chests (female): 9

Rear Nudity: 7

Full-Frontal Nudity: 8

Total Instances of Nudity: 31

Game of Thrones
Helen Sloan/HBO

Episode 1: "Valar Dohaeris"

Chests (Male): 1—Theon Greyjoy being tortured.

Chests (Female): 1—Random prostitute seducing Bronn, Tyrion’s bodyguard.

Rear Nudity: 0

Full-Frontals: 0

Innuendo: Almost cunnilingus.

Memorable Quotes:

Tywin Lannister: “You brought a whore into my bed.

Tyrion Lannister: “It wasn’t your bed at the time.”

Rating: Two dragons

Episode 2: "Dark Wings, Dark Words"

Chests (Male): 2—Joffrey Baratheon changing while getting fitted for new robes, and Theon Greyjoy being tortured (again).

Chests (Female): 0

Rear Nudity: 0

Full-Frontals: 0

Innuendo: Oral sex implied (from Tyrion and his whore-turned-monogamous-lover Shae).

Memorable Quotes:

Shae: “She’s a whore.”

Tyrion: “Yes, well, we shouldn’t be judgmental about these things.”

Shae: “You fucked her.”

Rating: One dragon

Episode 3: "Walk of Punishment"

Chests (Male): 2—Theon being tortured, and a male slave Khaleesi tried to give water to.

Chests (Female): 6—Half a dozen female whores in Littlefinger's establishment.

Rear Nudity: 1—Theon captured in the woods and having his pants pulled down (“I’m going to fuck you into the dirt!”)

Full Frontal: 3—One baby boy, two female whores hired to help Podrick lose his virginity (three in total, but only two are seen naked.)

Innuendo: The three whores hired to sexualize Podrick won’t take the money given to them by Tyrion, assumedly because of the sexual “skills” of virginal Podrick.

Memorable Quotes:

Lord Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish: “You want a real challenge? Try whores.”

Tyrion Lannister: “I’ve tried many.”

Rating: Three and a half dragons

Episode 4: "And Now His Watch Is Ended"

NO NUDITY

Rating: Zero dragons

Episode 5: "Kissed by Fire"

Chests (Male): 0

Chests (Female): 0

Rear Nudity: 3—Jon Snow leaping into the hot spring after sex with Ygritte, Jaime “King Slayer” Lannister getting into a tub with Brienne of Tarth, and Brienne also in the tub.

Full Frontal: 2—Ygritte stripping down in front of Jon Snow, and Ser Loras Tyrell’s male lover in the throes of passion.

Innuendo: Cunnilingus, sex in a hot spring.

Memorable Quotes:

Ygritte to virginal Jon Snow: “You swore some vows. I want you to break them.”

Rating: Three dragons

Episode 6: "The Climb"

Chests (Male): 1—Theon being tortured.

Chests (Female): .5—Ros’, dead by Joffrey’s hand, is strung up and displayed with arrows piercing her nearly naked breasts—a sexual symbol even in death.

Rear Nudity: 0

Full-Frontal: 0

Memorable Quotes:

Ygritte to Jon Snow: “Don’t ever betray me cause I’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it round me neck.”

Rating: One dragon

Episode 7: "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"

Chests (Male): 0

Chests (Female): 0

Rear Nudity: 2—Robb Stark and wife Talisa having sex (“If you don’t put some clothes on, I can’t promise I won’t attack you again,” he says to her playfully).

Full-Frontal: 2—Violet and Myranda, the women who torturously seduce Theon before his captor (apparently) cuts off his penis.

Innuendo: Two “punishers” strip down and start to seduce Theon as part of the mindgames enacted by his captor.

Memorable Quotes:

Tormund Giantsbane’s sex advice to Jon Snow: “Your cock shouldn’t go near her until she’s slick as a baby seal, but then slowly, don’t jam it in like you’re spearing a pig.”

Rating: Four and a half dragons

Episode 8: "Second Sons"

Chests (Male): 1—Gendry, while being seduced by Melisandre.

Chests (Female): 1.5—Kahleesi in the bathtub confronted by Daario Naharis, and a random buxom whore sitting on Mero’s lap that is all but exposed.

Rear Nudity: 1—Kahleesi stepping out of the bathtub when confronted by Daario Naharis.

Full-Frontal: 1—Melisandre strips down and then climbs on top of Gendry.

Innuendo: Melisandre gyrates on top of a tied-down Gendry, before stopping to place leeches on his naked body (including his penis).

Memorable Quotes:

Mero: “You’re the mother of dragons? I swore I fucked you once in a pleasure house in Lys.”

Jorah Mormont: “Mind your tongue.”

Mero: “Why? I don’t mind hers."

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Daario Naharis: “The Gods gave men two gifts to entertain ourselves before we die: The thrill of fucking a woman who wants to be fucked, and the thrill of killing a man who wants to kill you.”  

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Joffrey Baratheon to Sansa Stark: "Congratulations, my lady. You’ve done it, you’ve married a Lannister and soon you’ll have a Lannister baby. It’s a dream come true. I suppose it doesn’t really matter which Lannister puts the baby into you. Maybe I’ll pay you a visit tonight after my uncle passes out. How would you like that? You wouldn’t? That’s alright, Ser Meryn and Ser Boras will hold you down."

Rating: Five dragons

Episode 9: "The Rains of Castamere"

NO NUDITY (Only tears)

Rating: Zero dragons

Episode 10: "Mhysa"

Chests (Male): 1—Theon, er, Reek, being tortured.

Chests (Female): 0

Rating: Half a dragon