Politics

01.02.14

What Really Happened to De Blasio’s FDR Bible

The holy book he was sworn in on couldn’t be found for hours, but it was in safe hands all along.

The mystery of the missing Bible has been solved.

As President Clinton noted when he prepared to swear in Bill de Blasio as New York’s new mayor, the Bible chosen for the ceremony had once been used by FDR.

In the excitement that followed the big moment, the Bible seems to have been forgotten.

And as has since been reported, the Bible was feared to have gone missing, maybe even lost for several hours after the ceremony.

What has not been reported is that one of de Blasio’s former teachers spied the Bible sitting unattended and picked it up, fully appreciating its historical as well as spiritual value.

The teacher is said to have then joined the long receiving line, figuring she would give it to her former pupil when her turn came.

As the teacher inched closer for one hour and then another, a panicked search for the Bible continued.

In the excitement that followed the big moment, the Bible seems to have been forgotten.

After what one observer estimates to have been three hours, the teacher reached the new mayor. De Blasio is said to have summoned an aide to take custody of the Bible.

In calling off the search, a mayoral aide is supposed to have told people that the Bible had been recovered from a couple that had walked off with it.

Perhaps the aide figured that sounded less embarrassing than having the mayor’s former teacher returned it to him like it was a mitten he had dropped on a class outing.

“The first cover-up of the de Blasio administration,” one wag joked.