Sasquatch Sex

01.14.14

Monster Porn Is the Latest Wrinkle in Self-Published Smut

Forget brawny cowboys and sadomasochistic millionaires. ’50 Shades’ opened the door for every horny monster, space alien, minotaur, leprechaun, and gargoyle imaginable. Can you say ‘cryptozoological erotica’?

“From within the tufts of matted hair, the creature released a huge pale cock that defied logic.”

Defied. Logic.

“He stroked his cock, while I continued to lave his balls, taking one and then the other in my mouth.”

Balls. Laved.

I entered the world of interspecies fuck fiction—populated by illogical and pale cocks, testicle laving, and bigfoot handjobs—with some reluctance. The quotes above are examples of the sparkling prose to be found in Cum For Bigfoot, one of the best-selling titles in this subgenre of erotica commonly known as “monster porn.” No, this is not your average smut. Instead of brawny cowboys and sadomasochistic multimillionaires, I’m lusting after a Sasquatch whose phallus is “riddled with intersecting veins and bulging on the end like a tennis ball.”

The difference between the woman-falls-for-demon-beast storyline in fiction then and now is a matter of the implicit versus the explicit.

Cum For Bigfoot was Virginia Wade’s first foray into monster porn, otherwise known as “cryptozoological erotica.” According to her website, Wade (a pseudonym) first “dipped her toes” in the increasingly lucrative industry of self-published smut with titles like Stacy and the Boys and Seducing Jennifer (later retitled, for those lacking imagination, Jennifer’s Anal Seduction). But Cum For Bigfoot outsold all of Wade’s other erotica, earning her up to $30,000 a month through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. So she kept churning out Sasquatch stories, publishing a total of 16 books in the Cum for Bigfoot series. In 2012, Penthouse declared Bigfoot leader of the “paranormal pack,” referring to the bizarro subset of erotica that has exploded in the wake of Fifty Shades of Grey’s success. “If there was a market for monster sex, I was gonna give it to them,” Wade told Business Insider.

Indeed, there’s a growing demand for mythical creature porn in ebook format. Plots invariably center on women seduced by (or forced to have sex with) leprechauns, gargoyles, minotaurs, aliens, or any type of man-beast hybrid. The Week gave special mention to dinosaur erotica in its “Unexpected Trends of 2013” list, calling it “the strangest literary phenomenon of the year, and possibly ever.” But the publication underestimated just how niche this stuff gets. For example, a search for the Bigfoot series on Amazon yields related titles like Ravaged by the Hydra, Mounted by the Gryphon, Fertilized in Space, and—my personal favorite—Frankenstein’s Bitch.

wade-bigfoot-cover
‘Moan For Bigfoot’ (The Monster Menage Series) by Virginia Wade. 226 p. I Love Stacy. ()

But really, how strange is this so-called “literary phenomenon”? Take Bram Stoker’s Dracula: through observing the Count’s gradual seduction of Lucy Westenra (and her resulting metamorphosis), we come to see that she desired him from the beginning. The lines are slightly blurrier in the original King Kong, but bold enough for critics to extrapolate a sexual subtext, so that an ape holding a blonde woman hostage atop the Empire State Building in Manhattan is an ape holding a blonde woman atop a giant phallus in Manhattan. The difference between the woman-falls-for-demon-beast storyline in fiction then and now is a matter of the implicit versus the explicit. Today, there are no limits when it comes to explicit language and content in self-published erotica. It was only recently, after The Kernel published an article on the ubiquity of "rape fantasies, incest porn and graphic descriptions of bestiality and child abuse" in smut sold on Amazon.com that the online giant more rigorously vetted content.

The crackdown led to the disappearance of more than half of Wade’s ebooks on Amazon and similar sites. Only when she changed the title of her most successful series from Cum For Bigfoot to Moan For Bigfoot did her books reappear on Amazon—though only when searched for. But as with Internet porn, volume and availability make it difficult to regulate access to online erotica. So it’s no surprise that Cum For Bigfoot still exists in Amazon’s darker corners. Nor can we expect the people who write this stuff to stop indulging readers’ rape and bestiality fetishes, often rolled into one book (see Gang Banged by Mysterious Monsters in the Woods).

And so I return to Bigfoot, to an innocent “being reamed, with a considerable object bent on teasing me to completion,” another quivering as the monster’s “tongue stroked and massaged my belly, kneading the skin softly,” and a penis that defied logic. All of it defied logic … and taste. Bigfoot fucking may be the latest trend in smut, but don’t expect Frankenstein’s Bitch to displace brawny cowboys and sadomasochistic multimillionaires anytime soon.