Stars, they’re just like us! They think Justin Bieber is a shithead.
Excuse me, they think he’s a “piece of shit.” That’s what Seth Rogen tweeted earlier this year as a preface to an epic rant against the Canadian pop star/global menace he made this week during his press tour promoting the R-rated comedy Neighbors. (Which is out today, and legitimately hilarious.)
All jokes aside, Justin Bieber is a piece of shit.— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) January 23, 2014
“He’s a good example of someone you meet, who you think you’re going to hate, and then you get to hate him as much as you thought,” he said. “You meet him, and he lives up to every one of your expectations of how you hope he will be.”
Because, let’s be honest: at this point don’t we kind of really hope that Justin Bieber is an egotistical little prick? That he deserves the punch in the face we all so desperately want to give him?
On Watch What Happens Live!, Rogen didn’t mince words when asked about Bieber. “In my opinion, Justin Bieber is a piece of shit,” he said. “He seems like he’s obnoxious and ungrateful, insincere, and he puts people’s lives at danger.” Speaking with Howard Stern in a separate interview, he also recounted a meeting with the singing manifestation of an inferiority complex when the two were both guests on a German talk show, and someone from Bieber’s team informed Rogen that Bieber wanted to say hi. Here’s what followed:
"And it was weird, I was like, 'Sure, I'll meet him.' So I went outside to meet him and he was acting like I asked to meet him. It was very nonchalant, 'Yo man. Wassup,' and I was like, 'What the fuck, I don't give a fuck about, I don't want to meet you. Don't act all nonplussed to meet me. I didn't want to meet you. I was totally cool not meeting you… But I was like, fine, I wouldn't have said anything, I was like, 'He's a bit of a motherfucker. Whatever. He's young, the kid's a dick.'"
Bieber’s response to Rogen’s comments actually represent a bit of maturation from our petulant pop supernova. Not maturity. Oh no, don’t be fooled. He still comes off like a pompous celebrity jerk. But a pompous celebrity jerk who’s recently discovered this new wonderdrug called “humility,” and is having a little fun doing some cautious experimenting with it:
Seth Rogan sorry I didnt bow down when I asked 2 meet u was probably a bit shy and didn't want to be over the top but still. love ur movies.— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) May 8, 2014
Important note: Bieber spelled Seth Rogen's name wrong.
Are we piling on? Maybe. But it’s nothing compared to what the rest of Hollywood has had to say about the Biebz over the years. Here’s a sampling of what they’ve had to say.
After the bizarre incident in January when Bieber’s house was searched for eggs that made have been used for vandalizing and the singer’s friend Lil Za was arrested for drug possession, E! The Soup host and Community star Joel McHale gave his theory on why Bieber was throwing eggs at neighbors to Conan O’Brien. “Because he’s a fucking idiot,” McHale said.
“I feel like he’s got all those guys around him; he’s just running out of things to do,” he went on. “He’s so rich and so successful that they’re like, ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ and he’s like, ‘Let’s shave a dog, what do you want to do?’”
I guess there’s no Tiger Beat Blood Oath that says that all teen heartthrobs have each other’s backs. After the egging incident, Nick Jonas barely concealed his harsh judgment of Bieber when tweeting about the incident.
Wait.. egging is still a thing?— Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) January 11, 2014
Drake Bell’s Twitter account has long been a treasure trove of Bieber-bashing comedy. “Justin Bieber is 5’6″ now I understand why you guys love him!!” he tweeted once. “He’s the same height as all you 12 year olds! I totally get it now sorry guys.” He loves taking shots at Bieber’s appearance, once wondering, “How does Justin get his lips so shiny?” and even penning a fake quote: “Before I try to beat up the paparazzi I make sure my mascara is perfect!’ -Justin Bieber.”
He’s not hiding his disdain from Bieber, either:
doing some writing— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 20, 2013
Bieber’s on-again/off-again girlfriend appeared on The Late Show when the topic of Bieber came up. David Letterman recounted Bieber’s last appearance on the show: “He said something and then I said something, and I made him cry.” Gomez’s sizzler of a burn in response: “Well that makes two of us.”
Have you ever been on a TV or film set? It’s crowded. It take a lot of people to produce a TV show or a movie, and all of those people are on set. It’s very claustrophobic and crowded…especially when a star brings with him a needless entourage of what seem like servants. At least that’s what it sounds like, according to Bill Hader’s account of Justin Bieber’s posse when the star hosted Saturday Night Live.
“Justin Bieber showed up with like 20 guys,” he said. “He had a guy holding a slice of pizza. A guy holding a Diet Coke. You’re trying to fight through all of these people to get dressed.”
Taylor Swift saw Selena Gomez kissing Bieber backstage at an awards show, and made a very obvious “yuck” face. We are all Taylor Swift.
Jon Bon Jovi
After Justin Bieber made headlines last March for showing up two hours late for a major concert at London’s O2 arena, forcing thousands of school children to stay up way past their bedtimes on a school night, Jon Bon Jovi gave an interview about the incident to The London Evening Standard:
“Every generation has guys that do that, none of that is new. They run the risk of disrespecting their audience members who have worked hard to pay for their ticket, to give you the permission to take two or three hours of their lives — or in that kid’s case, 80 minutes of their lives. Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It’s really not cool — you’re an asshole. Go to f***in’ work!”
You know you’ve made it when you’re dissed in a lyric in an Eminem song. “Him [God] don’t give a damn about Bieber, do Him?” he raps in “A Kiss.” “What a demon, a behemoth, evil just seems to be seeping through him.”
Turns out Justin Bieber’s sexless sexuality only works on 12-year-olds. At least, it certainly didn’t work on Olivia Wilde:
Bieber, put your fucking shirt on. (unless you lost all your shirts in a fire in which case my condolences and please purchase a new shirt.)— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) March 2, 2013
Patrick Carney of The Black Keys
Bieber nation was none too pleased when their shit-eating Messiah was snubbed at the Grammy Awards last year. Asked about the controversy, and whether Bieber really did deserve a Grammy nomination, Patrick Carney of The Black Keys told TMZ, “He’s rich, right?...Grammys are for mucic, not for money…and he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy, I guess.”
Bieber’s wise response: “the black keys drummer should be slapped around haha.”
Marg Helgenberger had the rare honor, if one could call it that, of co-starring with Justin Bieber in his acting debut, a guest spot on CSI. Bieber was just 17 at the time. And acted like it.
“Justin Bieber wasn’t bad,” Helgenberger told a French radio show. “He had never acted before. I shouldn't be saying this, but he’s kind of a brat. He was actually very nice to me, but he locked one of the producers in a closet. And he put his fist through a cake that was on the table.”
A star is born.