The scribe behind the Song of Ice and Fire series joined Twitter, journeying deeper into an expansive, violent world full of cruel creatures and hordes of naked women you can pay for.
Twitter, like the national debt or Lindsay Lohans's sobriety, is in a constant state of flux. In the Twitter years of yore, you could simply follow Kanye West and Katy Perry and take a nap. But these days, filling your feed with mainstream celebs is totally passé. Oh, and 2010 called—they want their @ShitMyDadSays back. Luckily, the social media site is flooded with all sorts of intriguing, niche accounts—just the thing to prove that you're in the know. If you think you're ready for the big leagues, delve into these Twitter celebrity deep tracks, a collection of gems from the strangest, most unexpected players in the Twitterverse. Because if getting all my sex tips in 140 character spurts from Dr. Ruth is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
George R.R. Martin
The scribe behind the Song of Ice and Fire series joined Twitter today, journeying deeper into an expansive, violent world full of cruel creatures and hordes of naked women you can pay for—the Internet.
I don't tweet all that much, please check out my live journal page. ;) #myfirstTweet— George RR Martin (@GRRMspeaking) June 9, 2014
Long before goop was a thing (is goop a thing?!) Yoko Ono was the OG lifestyle guru everyone loved to hate. Decades later, she's still got it—and by it, we mean "questionable advice."
Walk until your body feels like dancing. Then dance. You will find that you no more have difficulty in sleeping at night.— Yoko Ono (@yokoono) May 19, 2014
The sky is not only above our heads. It extends all the way down to earth. When we raise a foot from the ground, we are walking in the sky.— Yoko Ono (@yokoono) May 15, 2014
Like if your slightly crazy grandma somehow got access to a Twitter account, and also happened to be totally obsessed with your sex life. Choice nuggets of wisdom include "Some women feel more aroused when they have their period. If you, put a towel under you & have sex." Thanks, Bubbe!
I saw that 50 Cents blamed his bad opening day pitch on injury from too much masturbation. See there can be 2 much of a good thing— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) June 4, 2014
Want to have a memorable 3 day Memorial Day weekend? I suggest either 3 different positions or 3 different places or combination— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) May 22, 2014
Joyce Carol Oates
Like if your slightly crazy, extremely articulate grandma somehow got access to a Twitter account, and also happened to be kind of racist.
"Cat food" in China actually is.— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) May 13, 2014
Why do we move "aimlessly" -- "unthinkingly"-- except this waywardness of a (not quite sub-) consciousness that is not "I" but rather--?— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) June 6, 2014
Like if your all out, totally crazy grandma somehow got access to a Twitter account, and also happened to be Cher.
Whats going on with mycareer— Cher (@cher) August 18, 2012
Can anyone c me— Cher (@cher) September 15, 2012
Brushing teeth,then, omg! NO EXCUSE 4 ME ! Pres Obama killed Bin Laden! Cher U might want 2 dial Down the passion & dial up brain 2 hand !— Cher (@cher) October 17, 2012
Whether he's hyping his latest track, calling out haters, or stringing together a series of nonsense words that mean nothing, rapper Riff Raff's Twitter has a certain indescribable je ne sais quoi—Oh wait, that’s just Caps lock.
i DONT KNOW HOW TO DO SHYT ALL i KNOW HOW TO DO iS SPEND MONEY & YELL AT PEOPLE— NEON iCON 6/24 (@JODYHiGHROLLER) June 9, 2014
RAP GAME A PURPLE PANDA PUTTiNG ON PiNK POLKA DOT PANTS PLUS EATiNG PANDA EXPRESS ON A PLEXiGLASS PATiO LiSTENiNG TO PANDORA @Pandora_radio— NEON iCON 6/24 (@JODYHiGHROLLER) June 9, 2014
Former Secretary of State and current lady hero Hillary Clinton is taking to Twitter to keep you educated and informed. But first, let her #TakeASelfie.
364 days of the year, following this NBA Hall of Famer will clog your feed with a bland collection of promotional info and personal shout outs. But on the one day of the year that North Korea decides to wipe out the world's entire population through nuclear annihilation, you'll be the first to know.
I'm not a politician. Kim Jung Un & North Korean people are basketball fans. I love everyone. Period. End of story. #WORMinNorthKorea— Dennis Rodman (@dennisrodman) February 26, 2013
Everyone knows that Lindsay Lohan is the most mainstream Lohan in the game. Meanwhile, nothing says "alternative" like throwing Dina Lohan an unexpected follow. No Twitter verification? No problem!
Life couldn't be better ! My children are all home in NY safe and sound xo always be positive xo faith CAN move mountains !!!!— Dina Lohan (@dinalohan) August 18, 2013