Deep Thoughts from War Machine's Sexist, Racist Prison Blog
Photos of the aftermath of the August 8 attack on Christy Mack are gruesome. The 23-year-old, best known for her tattoos, love of snakes and burgeoning career in the porn industry, is shown bruised and bloody in a hospital bed with both eyes swollen shut and her hair sawed off. She suffered 10 broken bones, missing and broken teeth, a fractured rib, and a severely ruptured liver.
Now her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Jonathan Koppenhaver, aka MMA fighter “War Machine,” is in jail after more than a week on the run from cops following the brutal assault, charged with three counts of battery with substantial bodily harm, strangulation, kidnapping, open and gross lewdness, and attempted murder. This isn’t the first time Koppenhaver has been accused of lashing out in violence. In 2010, he served a year in prison for felony assault after slugging his way through a bar fight. While behind bars he kept a blog detailing his year at San Diego’s George Bailey Penitentiary, posting observations on everything from the wastefulness of the American prison system to the books he was reading (Life of Pi was an “interesting story” with a “weird” ending, but Lone Survivor was “pretty darn good”).
Writing once a week to a friend who posted the entries online, Koppenhaver also recorded his thoughts on the death of his father, who apparently died in his arms at age 39, the death of his childhood best friend, his drug addict mother and stepfather, and the underhanded things he says he saw prison guards do—in particular, throwing an elderly DUI convict into his holding cell, causing the prisoner to fall and hit his head. According to Koppenhaver, the guards chalked up the injury to the old man’s own clumsiness and retaliated against Koppenhaver when they discovered he was helping the man file a report.
Mostly, however, War Machine’s prison musings would put him right at home in a local chapter of the men’s rights movement, if that chapter also endorsed racism and rampant self-victimization. Here’s Koppenhaver on women, race, and the oppression of men:
On domestic abuse: “This Mexican dude just got here and I guess he found out his wife was hooking behind his back. So he said he slapped the shit out of her and she fell and hit her head and died! Then he panicked and took her body somewhere and burnt it on fire! Anyway, this guy is like a straight immigrant, quiet little dude, super nice. I feel bad for him! I mean what husband wouldn’t slap their wife if he caught her being a hooker? Poor guy didn’t mean to kill her. I believe him!” [Source]
On racism: “I think racism, as it was, is pretty much over. There is only one part about it that remains...and that is: NO White, Mexican, Italian, NO ONE wants their sister, mother, ex-g/f, current g/f, or any other pretty white girl to date a black guy! I share this opinion and I’m definitely not racist. But I figured out why! The one thing stopping complete integration and ending racism is the MYTH that blacks have bigger dicks then other races! That’s it!” [Source]
On asking women for money: “People are lame. I see some guys here (grown men) on the phone, straight screaming at their grandmothers for not sending them enough $ each week for snacks. While there I am, getting mad at my wife for sending me cards all the time because I know she needs every penny right now. Don’t want to sound racist or whatever, but the blacks are the absolute worst about this. I dunno when or how it was put into their mentalities but they’re all about bein’ a ‘pimp’ and ‘breaking they bitches pockets.’ LOL! Not just in jail either, they’re always bragging how their GF’s got good jobs, maybe 2, and how they give their checks to them and get themselves all nice shit and kick it all day and blah, blah. I’unno but I know I could never do that to a woman I cared about. Shit, I couldn’t even use a girl like that that I didn’t care for. At the same time though, women do it to men all the time...” [Source]
On rape fantasies: “Why is it okay for women to admit they have ‘rape fantasies’ but if a man were to it’s the end of the world, he’s disgusting, evil, etc.? I’ve heard from countless women that they have this fantasy, but never from a man, why? And does having a fantasy mean you may do it? Do people not fantasize about countless things every day that they never do? How many times have you fantasized of punching your boss, did you ever do it? I bring it up because in these books I’m reading, ‘The Kent Family Chronicles,’ there have been a few rape scenes and I won’t lie, shit got me horny as hell. I felt guilty at 1st because I knew it’s something that I’d never do and something that I believe is wrong. In fact, I have fantasized a couple of times of going on that sex offender website, stalking, and killing some of them.” [Source]
On the emasculation of men in modern America: “So it’s Christmas day and I’m laying in my bunk wondering ‘Why in the hell do American men get married!?’ As I write this, there is one guy in here for slapping his wife, one here for yelling at his wife, and one here for beating some guy’s ass that disrespected his wife. WTF!? If your wife is being a bitch you can’t slap her, if your wife is yelling at you, God forbid you yell back, and if some asshole hurts your wife, you can not protect her! LMFAO! What in the FUCK! is REALLY going on!? Next thing you know it will be illegal to fuck your wife! LMAO! Maybe then, MEN in this country will get the fucking hint and MOVE! This country forces you to be a bitch! And then if you resist, you go to jail! And if you give in and become a passive lil’ pansy, your wife is gonna sneak around and get fucked by someone like a single War Machine! HAHA! And believe me, in my day, I have fucked more than one wife who complained about being ‘sick and tired of wearing the pants in the family.’ What a fucking country! De-masculated men left and right, mere sheep for the cowards in political offices to boss around and PLAY tough with.” [Source]
On the oppression of men: “The oppression of MEN is worse than oppression of Jews in Nazi germany, worse than the slavery of Blacks in early America... I’m not exaggerating either. Every Jew & every Black man, both in jail and those who have managed to avoid it, will attest to what I have just wrote…Being a MAN is BALLS not brawn! So don’t think you were too weak or small to be the MAN I’m talking about. So many of you ARE MEN but you got trapped by the oppressor. Every time you fight the urge to tell your wife ‘NO!’ or you tell your son, ‘Don’t punch the bully, go tell instead,’ YOU ARE LETTING THE OPPRESSOR WIN! Think on it…P.S. Before people cry about me comparing the oppression of MEN to the Holocaust and slavery, let me illustrate a few things. The oppressor has learned from history that dead bodies attract too much attention to what’s going on, or YES, there would be millions of dead MEN! They’d love that quick fix! In order to be elusive and to have longevity, the oppressor has learned to kill MEN while their bodies remain alive. And with your ‘spirit extinguished’ you're nothing but a fucking zombie, a shell of a man, waiting to die. And THAT is just as bad as death itself. The animals at the zoo are as good as dead just as we are, the MEN in America.” [Source]
On the trouble with being an alpha male: “Being an ‘Alpha Male’ Is a real phenomenon. People always seek out to challenge me. Seek me to follow and girls to fuck. Seriously, since I was in Kindergarten I’ve always been the leader, always got the girl and always was provoked to fight. And since I always win, I always get in trouble! B.S.! If I wasn’t tough, I’d be the world’s biggest victim and would get nothing but compassion. Just cuz I win fights, that others start, I’m a criminal? Fuck the laws in this country.” [Source]
On prison bias against men: “Guys used to do dumb/rowdy shit and people just signed and said, ‘boys will be boys.’ Now it’s ‘boys will be horrible evil men and should be locked away for LIFE!’ After all, look at the prisons, they are FULL of MEN, not women. Are men ‘evil’ and women not? Or do the laws target and attempt to restrict NATURAL MEN’S BEHAVIOR? How many of the HEROES in American history would avoid prison if they lived today? Davey Crockett? Thomas Jefferson? David Bowie? General Grant & General Lee? Shit, George Washington. How many of those ‘American heroes’ would avoid a felony or 2 living today? I bet NONE of them! Laws target MEN and men’s behavior. Women want to bitch and cry about their rights and equality... LMAO! MEN are the ones locked away like animals, while women run free!” [Source]