PRETTY PLEASE

03.04.16 5:50 AM ET

Stephen Colbert Begs Mitt Romney to Run Against Trump

Stephen Colbert longs for the good ol’ days when Mitt Romney was the Republican presidential nominee.

If establishment Republicans end up trying to oust Donald Trump during a brokered convention, who will they pick to replace him on the GOP ticket? By making his fierce opposition to the current frontrunner known in a speech to the nation today, Mitt Romney seems to be implying that it should be him.

“Donald Trump’s big win on Super Tuesday has made it clear that he is the likely nominee of the Republican Party, and that has sent the Republican establishment into a panic,” Stephen Colbert explained to his Late Show audience Thursday night. “They do not want to be with this guy, but the voters are choosing this. It’s like an arranged marriage. And unlike Trump’s other marriages, this one could last eight years.”

“Faced with a monster,” Colbert said the GOP had only one choice left: “Release the Romney!”

“Here’s what I know,” Romney said during his speech earlier in the day. “Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University.” He also asserted that Trump is not the “business genius” he claims to be.

“True. Trump has put his name on some terrible investments,” Colbert said. “For example, four years ago, he endorsed Mitt Romney for president.”

“Let’s just say for a minute this plan to stop Trump works,” Colbert posited. “If he’s not the nominee, who could the Republicans run for president? The guys who lost? That doesn’t seem right. No, you need someone who’s been legitimately chosen by Republican voters.”

“Hold on a minute! Mitt, I don’t know if this has occurred to you, but you fit that description! Oh, do it, Mitt. Don’t think about it, just gather up the whole gang, the family, get Tagg and Blitt and Guff and Tupp, strap the dog to the top of the car and head to the convention in Cleveland, please!”

If nothing else, it would give Colbert an excuse to finally get back on that dressage horse.