Gun Nuts

Ted Nugent and the Gang—Meet the Batsh*t Crazies of the NRA’s Board

It’s time to stop giving politicians a pass for accepting the endorsement of a group led by such appalling people.

05.25.16 5:00 AM ET

Totally bollocksed as we are in this In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida-length election season, it hardly registered as news when the National Rifle Association, a once reasonable group of folk interested in hunting and sport transmogrified into a bloodthirsty jabberwocky, held its board elections.

No one thought much of it when just the sick radicals of this atavistic organization overwhelmingly reelected Ted Nugent, an admitted pedophile who crapped himself silly to stay out of Vietnam and who’s violently threatened both the current president and the likely next president of the United States. The only guy to garner more support? Someone famous for committing crimes against the Constitution by handing arms over to our best friends in Iran.

You can’t make this stuff up.

I mean if there are three things that I’d bet 99 out of 100 of the NRA’s strongest supporters would attest to it would be that they are “constitutional conservatives” who see President Obama’s deal with Iran as treason and believe only weak leaders deal with terrorists. Well, then, let’s give Ollie North 128,000-plus votes!

Also elected to the board: former congressman and current crazy person Allen West, a man forced to resign from the military before he would have been court martialed for torturing an Iraqi captive.

Back to Nugent, in case you’re not familiar with the most recent antics of the Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla. Normally, Ted can be counted on to stick to his day job of being a racist, xenophobe, anti-Semite, and misogynist who shoots small animals that lack the opposable thumbs to return fire to momentarily forget he’s going to die someday.

But a few weeks ago he returned to an oldie-but goodie: threatening the life of a national political figure. Maybe he was lonely, since it’s been a few years since the Secret Service paid him a visit. This time, Ted thought it’d be a hoot to share a self-made fantasy snuff film on his Facebook page. It shows Hillary Clinton getting shot during a debate with Bernie Sanders—by Bernie Sanders. In case you somehow missed the message, he titled his newest oeuvre: “I got your guncontrol [sic] right here bitch.”

Nugent’s also praised use of the n-word, has a vocabulary that includes terms like “fat pig,” “dirty whore,” and “toxic cunt,” and fantasized that if he were to see an undocumented immigrant, he’d like to “shoot them dead.” That’s like a full 24 hours of tweets from Donald Trump.

Good leadership potential right there, Teddy. Or so say the 124,000 NRA members who voted to keep him on the group’s board at the same meeting where it endorsed Trump.

Sitting with Nugent on this august board is none other than the former senator from Idaho, Republican Larry Craig. You may recall this supporter of a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was found gyrating to the oldies in a Minnesota airport bathroom while holding court in that gosh-darn uncomfortable wide stance.

Barely holding on to his board seat was tax-obsessive Grover Norquist, hurt by rumors he enjoyed doing dim sum with The Muslim Brotherhood, because he’s married to a Palestinian woman. So 62,000 NRA members voted to recall him, with 70,000 saying no. I guess the mistake he made was not working with his supposed “Muslim terrorist” friends to trade arms with Tehran. Silly, Grover.

There it is: a mainstream organization for hunters, sport shooters, and collectors. Sure, you may take to the darkness to try and fight this gang of conspiracists, smear-merchants, and blood libelists, but, much like Bane, they were born there.

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Electing louts and lunatics like this as their leaders should disqualify the NRA from giving endorsements to Republicans (and the few Blue-Dog Democrats they bother with). Every time they give a check or wet-kiss to a loony right-winger, that candidate should be called to account for the things their elected leadership—the likes of North, Nugent, West, and Craig—have done.

I don’t see Democrats standing next to members of NAMBLA. So why does support from Nugent’s organization get a pass?

You want the senseless slaughter to stop? Make politicians own the drivel gushing out of these nuts’ mouths. Make it as excruciatingly painful to hear their endorsement speeches as it is to listen to “Love Grenade.”

That is when sanity will finally prevail.