REAL TALK

Bill Maher on Emailgate: ‘Hillary’s Political Fortunes Are Driven by Out of Control Cocks’

On the latest edition of ‘Real Time,’ the political satirist took on the latest maybe-controversy surrounding Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

10.29.16 5:25 AM ET

On Friday afternoon, FBI Director James Comey—who seems to, in the words of The Waterboy, not have “what they call ‘the social skills’”—released his own October surprise.

Comey dropped a statement on Hillary Clinton’s never-ending email probe, stating: “In connection with an unrelated case, the FBI has learned of the existence of emails that appear to be pertinent to the investigation,” adding, “the FBI should take appropriate investigative steps designed to allow investigators to review these emails to determine whether they contain classified information, as well as to assess their importance to our investigation.”

The news came as a surprise to many, since Comey had held a bizarre press conference close to four months ago stating that no charges would be brought against Hillary over her use of a private server during her tenure as Secretary of State, concluding that “no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case.”

Quoting an FBI official close to the investigation, the Los Angeles Times reported, “the emails were not to or from Clinton, and contained information that appeared to be more of what agents had already uncovered… but in an abundance of caution, they felt they needed to further scrutinize them.” The emails, it turns out, came from a device connected to Anthony Weiner, who is currently being investigated for his inappropriate sexting with a 15-year-old girl across state lines. Weiner is the former husband of Huma Abedin, Hillary’s longtime aide.

“Voting is underway, so the American people deserve to get the full and complete facts immediately,” Hillary said of Comey’s vague letter during a news conference in Iowa. She added she was “confident whatever [the emails] are will not change the conclusion reached in July.”

So, during Friday’s edition of HBO’s Real Time, host Bill Maher gave his unique take on the latest development in Hillary’s Emailgate.

“I think it is rather appropriate that this election is so close to Halloween, because what happens in every scary movie? You think you killed the monster—you killed him ten times—and then a tiny, orange hand comes out of the grave. Believe me: for Hillary, tonight was Nightmare on Email Street,” he quipped during his monologue.

Maher then gave some background on how the hell Anthony Weiner (alias: Carlos Danger), a frequent panelist on his Real Time program, could be playing such a consequential role in this election.

“Anthony Weiner is under investigation for sexting with a underage girl across state lines, so the FBI seized all his computers. He is married—or was married—to Huma Abedin, who is Hillary Clinton’s aide, and they were using the same computer,” said Maher. “Which begs my first question: Why is Huma using Anthony’s computer? If there’s one thing she didn’t want to go near, it would be his computer. So… Hillary’s emails are intermingled with Anthony Weiner’s sexting? No wonder she had her server wiped! I’d have had it boiled.”

He continued: “This is the world we live in now: Hillary Clinton’s aide’s estranged husband is a freak, so we get to read Hillary Clinton’s emails. I wish Hillary would send a text to Donald Trump. Maybe then we would get to see his taxes.”

The big issue with Comey’s letter is how little information was actually contained in it—just a surfeit of vagueness and innuendo which was, as expected, immediately seized on by the Trump camp and various other Republicans with longstanding vendettas against the Clintons.

“And you know, we don’t know what’s in these emails! Maybe nothing. James Comey, the Director of the FBI, he’s the one who made this announcement today. He said they appear pertinent, but ‘I can’t say that they’re significant.’ Well take your time, man! There’s nothing riding on it!” joked Maher.

“Of course, you know, Trump and Cruz and the whole gang on the right are all making hay on this about ‘it’s corruption’ and ‘criminal conduct,’” he added. “Only Republicans could look at an investigation into sexually propositioning a minor and say, ‘Yeah, did you find anything really disgusting? Like mishandled emails? Something that would really revolt people?’”

“So once again, Hillary’s political fortunes are driven by out of control cocks. Right? This poor woman. I mean, first it was her husband’s, then it was Donald Trump’s, and now it’s Anthony Weiner’s. Or what she calls it: My basket of deplorable horndogs.”

Late Friday night, Comey explained his decision to release such a vague, politically damaging letter 11 days before the general election. He did so in a text to FBI agents that was later obtained by various news networks.

It read: “Of course, we don’t ordinarily tell Congress about ongoing investigations, but here I feel an obligation to do so given that I testified repeatedly in recent months that our investigation was completed. I also think it would be misleading to the American people were we not to supplement the record. At the same time, however, given that we don’t know the significance of this newly discovered collection of emails, I don’t want to create a misleading impression… In trying to strike that balance, in a brief letter and in the middle of an election season, there is significant risk of being misunderstood, but I wanted you to hear directly from me about it.”

Well, it seems FBI Director Comey did about as much as he could to “create a misleading impression.” The American people deserve better.