Colbert Mocks Trump’s Fake Sweden Terror Attack: ‘When Will It Begin?!’
Stephen Colbert will “never fjorget” where he was when he first heard about last week’s totally made up terror attack in Sweden. He was listening to President Donald Trump deliver his entirely too-early campaign rally in Florida.
“You look at what’s happening in Germany, you look at what’s happening last night in Sweden,” Trump told his supporters on Saturday night. “Sweden, who would believe this?”
“No one. No one would believe that,” Colbert answered Monday night. “Well, not no one, but maybe someone who skips his intelligence briefings.”
In response to Trump, former Swedish Prime Minister Carl Bildt tweeted, “Sweden? Terror attack? What has he been smoking?” To that, Colbert replied, “What has he been smoking? Uh… Vladimir Putin’s dick?”
“Let’s be real here, this is the president of the United States,” Colbert continued. “He has access to everything and the latest intel at all time. Sir, for real, where did you get your information from?” As Trump himself tweeted on Sunday, he got it from Fox News. “Oh, I guess Trump only accepts intelligence reports with the logo, ‘As seen on TV.’”
Despite an influx of immigrants into Sweden, Colbert noted that crime rates there have actually fallen since 2005. “In fact, experts say 90 percent of Swedish crime actually occurs in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” he joked.
“Tragically, Sweden is the third not-a-terrorist-attack that has not shocked the world in the last month,” Colbert said, citing Kellyanne Conway’s “Bowling Green massacre” and Sean Spicer’s Atlanta incident. “When will it begin?!” he asked in mock outrage. “And just because it didn’t happen doesn’t mean we don’t stand in solidarity with all the people who did not suffer.”
He proceeded to “pay tribute” to the Swedes with a montage of everything from Swedish Fish and ABBA to Ikea and the Swedish Chef. The piece ended with two words: “Never Fjorget.”