The Birthers just won’t quit. Having probed the matter with a five-person “Cold Case Posse,” Sheriff Joe Arpaio, of Arizona's Maricopa County, said Thursday that President Obama’s long-form birth certificate is likely a forgery. What’s more, Obama’s selective-service card is probably fake too! “We don’t know who the perpetrators are of these documents,” Arpaio, 79, said at a news conference, adding that he didn’t think the president himself was behind the forgery. He then suggested there be a “fair, honest, professional” criminal investigation into the matter, adding that he’s not out to get Obama but is “just doing my job.” Arpaio’s probe comes after the Justice Department accused the sheriff of a “pattern of misconduct” that involved targeting and mistreating Latinos. Hmm.