Tyler, out. After two seasons as judge of Fox’s reality-TV juggernaut American Idol, Steven Tyler announced Thursday that he won’t be returning to the show next year. “After some long ... hard ... thoughts ... I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress American Idol before she boils my rabbit,” Tyler said in a statement, apparently comparing the show to Glenn Close’s obsessive character in Fatal Attraction, who kills her lover’s family pet. He’s departing to refocus his attention on his “first love,” Aerosmith: “The next few years are going to be dedicated to kicking some ass—the ultimate auditory takeover.” Your move, J. Lo.
ELIMINATED Danny Moloshok / AP Photo