HAPPY CAMPER

Obama Touts New Jobs Numbers

Pablo Martinez Monsivais

Somewhere in Virginia, Obama’s humming "Hallelujah." Following a dull debate performance earlier in the week, the president received much-needed good news Friday morning—the lowest unemployment rate since 2009. Delivering a speech in Virginia following the news, he was all smiles, “Today, I believe that as a nation, we are moving forward again.” The young crowd screamed in excitement as he added, “For all you moms and kids out there, don’t worry—someone is finally getting tough on Big Bird. Elmo, too.”