1. SOLDIER

    Ryan on Bayonets: Ocean Hasn’t Shrunk

    Bryan Oller / AP Photo

    You’d think a shirtless Paul Ryan riding a horse and wielding a bayonet would just make sense. Apparently dreams of such a super-soldier are just not meant to be. The vice presidential candidate said that he “just doesn’t understand” Obama’s comparison of American battleships with bayonets. Speaking on CBS’s This Morning several hours after the debate, Ryan had his own zinger for the president: “The ocean hasn’t shrunk.” As vice president, we imagine Paul Ryan has a solution to continental drift, which is slowly shrinking the Pacific.

    Read it at The Hill