The nickname “Big Cheese” has never been so well-deserved. An Illinois man named Veniamin Konstantinovich Balika has been charged for stealing 21 tons of Muenster from a Wisconsin cheese company and attempting to sell all 42,000 pounds of it at a New Jersey turnpike rest stop. The 34-year-old dairy thief fooled the company’s owner, presenting him with the proper paperwork to pick up a shipment, but was busted on the side of the highway with his stinky haul, valued at a whopping $200,000. But there could be a silver lining to all this cheesiness. If the Muenster passes NJ health inspections, it could be donated to charity.
MUENSTER CRIMES Gerald Hoberman