1. TRAGIC KINGDOM

    Moms Hire Disabled Disney Tour Guides

    Kent Phillips / Disney via Getty Images

    Warning: heartless humans included. According to sources at The New York Post, a subset of wealthy Manhattan moms have unlocked the secret to cutting lines at Disneyworld: disabled people. Hiring “black-market Disney guides” for a rate of $130 per hour (or $1,040 for the whole day) the moms give their entitled tots a free ride to the front of any line. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney," bragged one mom, who hired a disabled person through the company Dream Tours Florida. Disney, who has declined to comment on the scheme, allows each disabled person to bring six guests with them to the front of the line.

    Read it at The New York Post