Come now, have another soiled shrimp on the barbie! If you’re at a barbecue in the U.K., you might as well lick your hosts’ toilet seat, which is half as germy as the barbecue itself. A new study has found the typical British BBQ contains 1.7 million microbes of bacteria per 100 square centimeters—compared with 759,000 in the loo—a grotesque amount of E. coli, salmonella, and listeria, all of which induce vomiting and diarrhea. Even higher counts than barbecues or toilets: trash bin lids. To be fair, the study was conducted by a cleaning company that would probably like you to bring its product to the next outdoor roast.