Baz Ratner / Reuters
President Obama, Joe Biden, and a number of Democratic politicians may be ditching Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech before Congress today, but everyone else in Washington, D.C. is clamoring for a ticket. “I’m having to tell people who supported me for decades I can’t find a ticket,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) told The New York Times. He said a ticket would only be hotter “if it was Garth Brooks—maybe.” Michael Steel, a spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner, made his analogy a bit more current: “If Taylor Swift and Katy Perry did a joint concert at Madison Square Garden wearing white-and-gold and black-and-blue dresses, accompanied by dancing sharks and llamas, that’s the only way you’d have a tougher ticket,” he said. However, it’s not just Republicans scrambling for the most impossible ticket in town. “The tickets are hotter than fresh latkes,” said Democratic Sen. Chuck Schumer.