SUSPENSE

Colbert on Debate: Trump Threatened to ‘Wipe His Fat Ass with the Constitution’

The ‘Late Show’ host went live Wednesday night after the debate to make fun of Trump’s ‘suspense’ threat.

Like The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah—and the rest of the media—Stephen Colbert quickly recognized Donald Trump’s refusal to say whether or not he will accept the results of the election as the “definitive” moment of the third and final presidential debate Wednesday night.

“Oh, suspense! Democracy’s going to end in a cliffhanger,” Colbert said in his live Late Show monologue. “I guess we’re all going to have to wait until Nov. 9 to find out if we still have a country, if Donald Trump is in the mood for a peaceful transfer of power. Or if he’s going to wipe his fat ass with the Constitution.”

Colbert went on to wonder why Trump agreed to a debate at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas since “he hasn’t had a lot of luck with casinos or universities.” Meanwhile, when the issue of guns came up, Hillary Clinton “took the position of toddlers killing people equals bad.” As the host said, “I don’t know where she finds the courage to say things like that.”

And then there was the moment where Trump denied the many sexual-assault accusations against him by repeating his favorite line, “Nobody has more respect for women than I do.”

“That’s why I use the Tic Tacs,” Colbert said, assuming Trump’s voice. “It’s out of respect. Nobody wants to be groped and have bad breath, OK?”

Finally, Colbert flaunted his several Emmy Awards in response to Trump’s claims that even that system is “rigged.” But, he said, this might be Trump’s year. After The Celebrity Apprentice lost to The Amazing Race, he may have them beat this year with “The Amazing Racist.”