NO SCORPIOS!

Aristocrat, 79, Desperately Seeking ‘Good Breeder’ to Provide Him Male Heirs

Sir Benjamin Slade gave a very specific and ridiculous list of things he is looking for in a partner.

An elderly English aristocrat is seeking to give his entire fortune away to any woman willing to marry him and provide at least two children, as long as they meet his exact specifications. Sir Benjamin Slade, 79, told the Daily Mail he is willing to give his sprawling 1,300-acre estate to a “good breeder” at least 20 years younger than him who can run the estate and give him at least two male heirs. Prospective brides must also be over 5ft 6 inches, have both a shotgun and a driving license (a helicopter license “would also be beneficial”), have some legal and accountancy training, be willing to run two castles and an estate in addition to raising the octogenarian’s children, not be a Scorpio, not be born in a country beginning with the letter ‘I,’ or anywhere that has the color green in their flag, and most importantly, never read The Guardian newspaper. Remarkably, Slade previously found a woman who met all these specifications: entrepreneur Sahara Sunday Spain, 34, who gave him a daughter, Violet. But she was ‘cast aside’ by the aristocrat after failing to provide him with a male heir and says he has ‘no interest’ in meeting his daughter. “What I just need is a nice, ordinary country girl who knows and understands things,” said Slade, a distant relative of King Charles. But Spain gave a warning to any women considering his proposal. ”Ben doesn’t have any money. I knew that from the start. He’s land-rich and cash poor. And if all I wanted was a castle, well, I already had that right here.”