NOT STOLEN AFTER ALL

Chaotic Arizona Recount Finds Biden, Uh, Actually Did Beat Trump

A surreal “audit” of Maricopa County’s 2020 vote found that Biden did indeed win, according to an early report.

A lengthy, chaotic review of Maricopa County, Arizona’s 2020 vote by an obscure Florida tech company with no elections experience has concluded that President Joe Biden did win, after all. In fact, according to drafts of the final report obtained by The Arizona Republic on Thursday night, Cyber Ninjas’ “audit” found that former President Donald Trump received 45,469 fewer votes than Biden. Maricopa County’s count had Trump losing by 45,109 votes. County Board Chairman Jack Sellers told the Republic the draft report’s conclusions show “the tabulation equipment counted the ballots as they were designed to do, and the results reflect the will of the voters... That should be the end of the story. Everything else is just noise.”