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Assad 'Wins' Reelection

SHOCKER

With 88.7 percent of votes.

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Sana Sana/Reuters

Apparently less popular than Saddam Hussein (who famously won 100 percent of the vote), Bashar al-Assad has won reelection in Syria with 88.7 percent of the vote Wednesday. The nail-biter win gives Assad, who is currently fighting a civil war because of his brutal regime, a third term in office. The opposition said his challengers were charades, and that the election was a scam. Syria's constitutional court said that turnout was 73 percent, however voting only took place in government-controlled areas. The civil war in Syria has so far killed 160,000 and displaced 3 million people.

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