On Friday night, Bill Maher returned from a brief Memorial Day break to entertain his Resistance™ audience on Real Time.
The big news this week, of course, was Robert Mueller’s surprise press conference, wherein the special prosecutor essentially repeated the contents of his report, proclaiming that, “As set forth in the report, after the investigation, if we had confidence that the president did not clearly commit a crime, we would have said so.”
“Did you see this week? Mueller finally came down from his cloud and spoketh,” Maher said to his in-studio audience. “And what he said was, word for word: the report is my testimony… Make do with my cryptic pronouncements!”
“This is what he said,” the comedian continued. “He said, ‘If we had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said that.’ OK. So, is he a criminal? Why say it that way?! What was his wedding like? ‘Robert, do you take this woman…’ ‘I don’t not take her!’”
Maher wasn’t done. “We just want to know: Did Trump work with the Russians?” he asked. “And Mueller is like, you know, it’s a little like sex with your ex-girlfriend who hates you but you’re both horny: you wouldn’t call it ‘planning,’ but you both want the same thing.”
The late-night comic then referenced Trump’s bizarre tweet about the Mueller Report, where he appeared to admit that Russia helped him get elected president:
“President Jan Brady, ladies and gentlemen,” cracked Maher. “This guy. He’ll deny everything all day and then completely admit it on Twitter.”
“The pro-impeach movement now has mojo,” he added. “You can tell, because Trump is scared…Fifty-five Democrats now are for impeachment. But of course, most of the Democrats are still saying, ‘Yeah, impeachment, but what most people care about are the issues.’ Can’t you do both?”