(Borowitz) Report: NBC Pressures Leno to Have Affair
With viewers fleeing in droves, sources are saying that NBC is pushing 10 p.m. comic Jay Leno to have an affair to boost ratings, reports humorist Andy Borowitz in a spoof news item. NBC chairman Jeff Zucker, according to the source, "wants Jay to be up to his neck in sexual monkey business by the end of sweeps." Leno, who has watched as longtime rival Dave Letterman's intern sex scandal increase ratings for the Late Show, has been ratings challenged in his new time slot. "If Jay had an affair he'd probably get away with it," cautioned the source. "Nobody's watching."