Stephen Colbert taped Friday night’s Late Show on Thursday, but that didn’t stop him from weighing in on the day’s big news with a special report from his “pretend office.”
“Turns out the FBI has announced that it’s going to investigate a newly-discovered batch of emails related to Hillary Clinton’s private server,” the host said, “which, ironically at this point has become the world’s most public server.”
The craziest part of this story so far is that the FBI discovered the emails while investigating former congressman and failed mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner’s latest sexting scandal. “Or, as The New York Times put it, ‘New Clinton Case Emails Tied to Weiner,’” Colbert said, holding his laptop up to the camera.
“So, in a shocking twist, Anthony Weiner’s penis might destroy two political careers,” he continued, noting that the FBI letter came just as Clinton was “riding high” in the polls following sexual assault allegations against Donald Trump. “Truly, for the Clinton campaign, horny men giveth and horny men taketh away.”
Ultimately, Colbert just had one question for Clinton: “What cursed monkey’s paw did you wish upon to become president? Just stop touching it! And that goes for you too, Anthony Weiner.”