YIKES

Colbert Mocks Trump for Getting Spanked by a Porn Star With His Own Forbes Magazine Cover

‘It is not easy to maintain an ego that big while being sexually submissive,’ the host joked.

CBS

The rest of the media may be focused on more “important” matters, but Stephen Colbert can’t stop talking about Donald Trump’s alleged affair with porn star Stormy Daniels.

On Monday, he said that he wasn’t surprised Daniels was denying the affair, remarking, “$130K will keep her from talking about it, but there’s not enough money in the world that could keep her from remembering it.” Two days later, after additional disturbing details emerged about their alleged sexual encounters, Colbert mocked Trump’s “textbook generic” performance, joking that the textbook was probably Mating Habits of Elderly Mammals.

And on Thursday, the Late Show host was at it again, this time after Mother Jones reported that Daniels once claimed that she had spanked Trump with a Forbes magazine that had him on the cover.

“Wow,” Colbert said. “He got spanked, but I feel like I got punished.”

“Though I’ve gotta say, bravo, sir,” he continued. “It is not easy to maintain an ego that big while being sexually submissive.”

Colbert imagined Trump saying, “I am the best bad, little boy. I deserve the finest spankings on my tremendous Trump rump. Many people are saying I’m the top bottom of all-time.” Breaking character, he added, “I can’t believe that’s a joke based on actual news.”

But it gets worse. It turns out that the Forbes cover from 2006 when the affair occurred featured not only Donald Trump but also his children Don Jr. and Ivanka.

“I think I speak for Dr. Freud when I say, we owe Oedipus an apology,” Colbert said. “And once again, sadly, Eric’s left out of the fun stuff.”