I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING

Woman Has ‘SCREAMING Orgasm’ as LA Philharmonic Plays Tchaikovsky: Report

“It was quite beautiful,” one witness said.

Music really does have charms to soothe a savage breast, as unsuspecting concertgoers in California found out on Friday night, according to reports. After the Los Angeles Philharmonic’s performance that evening, multiple attendees emerged to claim—on social media and to the Los Angeles Times—that a woman in the audience had experienced what sounded like an orgasm in the middle of Tchaikovsky’s fifth symphony. “I saw the girl after it had happened, and I assume that she... had an orgasm because she was heavily breathing, and her partner was smiling and looking at her—like in an effort to not shame her,” one witness told the Los Angeles Times. “It was quite beautiful.” Twitter users variously described the sound as that of a “loud and full body orgasm,” a “fingerbanging orgasm,” and a “SCREAMING orgasm,” with an audio clip of the alleged moment being posted shortly after. Lukas Burton told the Times that the woman’s gasp was “wonderfully timed” to a “romantic swell” in the music. “One can’t know exactly what happened, but it seemed very clear from the sound that it was an expression of pure physical joy,” he said.