FANFICTION OF THE DAY

Damon Wayans Defends Bill Cosby, Calls ‘Bitches’ ‘Un-rape-able’

“Some of them, really, is un-rape-able. I look at them and go, ‘No, he don’t want that. Get outta here!’”

Reuters

During an interview with radio station Power 105.1’s “The Breakfast Club” on Friday, actor Damon Wayans said that he doesn’t believe Bill Cosby is a rapist. Rather, he believes all 51 women who have come forward with stories of being drugged and molested or raped by Cosby were actually in relationships with him. The man noble enough to date those “un-rape-able” women—sorry, “bitches”—is only guilty of being unable to “get it up,” says the star of Farce of the Penguins.

When asked what advice he would give Cosby, who admitted in court in 2005 to using Quaaludes on women for sex, Wayans said, “Tell the truth. If I was him, I would divorce my wife—wink wink—give her all my money and then I would go to a deposition. I’d light one of them three-hour cigars, I’d have me some wine and maybe a Quaalude. And I would just go off. Because I don’t believe that he was raping, I think he was in relationships with all of them. And then he was like, ‘You know what, it’s 78. It don’t work no more. I can’t get it up for any of y’all. Bye, bitches. And now they’re like, ‘Oh really? Rape!’ 40 years—listen, how big is his penis that it gives you amnesia for 40 years?”

Host Angela Yee interjected and pointed out that Wayans—wink wink—missed the fact that many of Cosby’s alleged victims first came out with claims against him decades ago.

“But if you listen to them talk, they go, ‘Well, the first time…’ The first time?” Wayans responded. “Bitch, how many times did it happen? Just listen to what they’re saying…And some of them, really, is un-rape-able. I look at them and go, ‘No, he don’t want that. Get outta here!’”

Wayans, whose most recent acting credit is a 2011 TV movie called Herd Mentality, also added, “Look, I understand fame. I’ve lived it. Women will throw themselves at you. They just want to be in your presence. There’s some that innocently will come up there, but not 40-something women. They’re not that naïve.”

Wayans’s “heart goes out” to any women who actually were assaulted, but he doesn't think there would ever be reason for Cosby to rape a drugged woman. “What’s the joy of banging someone that’s asleep?” he asked.

See his interview below.