DeLay's Rigorous Exercise Regimen

Keep your eyes peeled for videos of Tom DeLay's workout routine set to the Rocky soundtrack. A report from Emily Miller, a former staffer for DeLay, strongly asserts that "he can cut a rug" and will shock all of America with his moves on the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars. A phone conversation with DeLay's wife Christine, who seemed quite thrilled with her husband's new turn in the public eye, revealed that he has already begun training and has lost 12 pounds. "Tom can dance the two-step, polka, waltz, country swing... and disco," DeLay's wife said. The former Republican Majority Leader explained his desire to join the show. "My political enemies aren't going to vote for me, and I'm still indicted," he said. "But this isn't an election. At least (viewers) can't vote against you."