Epic Meal Empire’s Meat Monstrosities: From the Bacon Spider to the Cinnabattleship

Note: All temperatures are in degrees Fahrenheit.

TATER BOT

It's made of tater tots, obviously, grilled cheese sandwiches, and burgers. This is what an epic meal looks like when it's created from the brains of children.

Recipe

80 Red Rope Licorice

225 Tater Tots

408 Slices White Bread

11 lbs. Ground Beef

3 Tablespoons Paprika

3 Tablespoons Garlic Powder

3 Tablespoons Onion Powder

1 Cup Bread Crumbs

4 Eggs

10 Hot Dogs

60 Burger Buns

60 Burger Patties

264 Slices American Cheese

6 lbs. Potatoes

1 Cup Milk

1 Cup Heavy Cream

1 Stick Butter

2 Bacon Strips

Ketchup, Mustard (If Desired)

Butter, To Cook

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In pan or grill cook burger patties, add one slice American cheese, ketchup, mustard, and place between burger buns.

In pot with boiling water, cook potatoes for 15-20 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.

Take potatoes, peal and use ricer, into bowl add milk, butter, and cream.

In a bowl, mix the ground beef and seasoning together.

Cook 5 lbs. ground beef in pan.

In aluminum foil pan add mashed potatoes and top with beef.

Take remaining ground beef mix in eggs and breadcrumbs; split in half and on a sheet pan form 2 balls. Bake at 350 for 30-45 minutes.

Cook hot dogs on grill until achieve grill marks.

Put together grilled cheese sandwiches and cook in pan with butter until cheese is melted.

Twist, tie, glue licorice.

In pot filled with oil or a deep fryer cook tater tots 4-6 minutes.

Cook 2 bacon strips in a pan.

Assemble Robot:

Feet = Shepherd’s Pie

Legs = Cheeseburgers

Body = Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Arms = Licorice

Hands = Meatloaf

Fingers = Hot Dogs

Head = Tater Tots

Eyebrows = Bacon

LITTLE BREAD CORVETTE

It's a car that is 50 percent edible. Which is impressive, because cars are normally 0 percent edible. Yes, this meal is fully drivable.

Recipe

4 Pizza Doughs, 54” by 54”

1-8 lb. Ham

15 Pizza Dough

4 Jars Pizza Sauce

7 lbs. Mozzarella Cheese, Shredded

4 lbs. Pepperoni, Sliced

22 Whole Chickens

Garlic Powder

Italian Seasoning

6 lbs. Russet Potatoes

8 lbs. Sausage Links

6 Flank Steaks

4-4 lb. Pork Belly

8 lbs. Puffed Rice Treats

6 lbs. Marshmallows

1 lb. Butter

2 lbs. Black Fondant

6 lbs. Tripe

2 Pork Loins

Cajun Seasoning

Paprika

Onion Powder

Sugar

1 Rack Pork Ribs

2 Racks Beef Ribs

Brown Sugar

Honey

48 Cupcakes

10 lbs. Spaghetti

4 Jars Spaghetti Sauce

400 Bacon Strips

32 Hot Dogs

5 lbs. Macaroni Noodles

2 Cans Cheese Sauce

Salt and Pepper

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Fill pot with water and boil potatoes.

Fill large pot with water and add tripe, let cook for 3-4 hours until tender.

French and Crown one rib rack and season with salt and pepper, cover exposed bones with foil, cook in oven at 350 for 2.5 hours.

Season chickens with garlic powder, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper, place on a roasting pan in 350 oven for 45 minutes until inserted thermometer reads 165.

Rub pork loin with paprika, Cajun seasoning, parsley, onion powder, garlic powder, sugar, salt, and pepper. Place loin into oven at 350 and cook for 45 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 145.

Season pork belly with garlic powder, salt and pepper, cook in oven at 300 for 2 hours.

Season beef ribs with brown sugar, honey, onion powder, salt and pepper. Cover with foil and cook in 325 oven for 3 hours.

Marinate flank steak in garlic, Italian seasoning, paprika, oil, salt and pepper. Cook on grill about 8 minutes per side.

Melt butter and marshmallow in big stock pot then add puffed rice cereal.

Make 4 wheels by pressing the puffed rice treats into 18” x 3” cake pan.

Roll out 4 circles of fondant and lay in center of puffed rice treat. In center add black licorice swirl.

Take sausage coil and cook on grill.

Season rib eye with salt and pepper and cook on charbroiler about 8 minutes per side.

Roll out pizza dough, add sauce, cheese, pepperoni, and bake at 375 for 6-8 minutes.

Cut the ready-made pizza dough in half.

Using butcher twine-sew bacon.

Assemble all food onto working vehicle. Attaching food with skewers, toothpicks, fishing line, and twine.

CINNABATTLESHIP

What can I say, it was a toss-up between a cinnabattleship and cinnabungee jump but we went with cinnabattleship once we realized we can make a cream cheese icing churro cannon.

Recipe

32 Breakfast Sausages

294 Cinnabons

300 Cinnachurros

363 Cinnapoppers

12 Trays Monkey Bread

88 Bacon Strips

24 Eggs

14 Quarts Vegetable Shortening

2 Quarts Milk

3 lbs. Powdered Sugar

11 Cookie Mix

35 Gummy Sharks

1 8-lb. Ham, Sliced

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Cook breakfast sausages in pan.

Take the sliced ham and cook in a pan on high heat and cook each side for one minute.

In a mixing bowl, whisk eggs and cook in a pan to scramble, remove from heat and sprinkle with cheese.

Lay bacon on sheet pan and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

Place churros onto sheet pan, bake according to packaging.

Take monkey bread and place into microwave (2 minutes).

Take cinnapoppers and place into microwave (30 seconds).

In stand mixer, mix cookie mix following the directions on the box, scoop 11 cookies onto baking sheet, place in oven.

In stand mixer, add vegetable shortening and milk, mix; slowly add powdered sugar until desired consistency is achieved, add a couple drops of blue food dye and mix.

Using skewers/tooth picks, attach monkey bread, Cinnabons, and churros to battleship.

BACON SPIDER

Sometimes, we like to get crafty in the kitchen. Crafty like a second grade art project. By using a huge burger and crab legs we made a delicious surf and turf meal that looks like an unappetizing spider that's covered in extremely appetizing bacon.

Recipe

45 lbs. Ground Beef

¼ Cup Garlic Powder

¼ Cup Onion Powder

5 Cups Bread Crumbs

22 Eggs

1 Cup Milk

8 King Crab Legs

2 lbs. Cheese Sauce, Canned

8 Bagel Bites

224 Bacon Strips

Salt and Pepper For Seasoning

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In a mixing bowl, combine beef, onion powder, garlic powder, bread crumbs, and eggs.

With meat mixture, make one large sphered meat ball and one smaller sphered meat ball (one as the head, one as the body).

Lay bacon on a sheet pan and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

Bake meat spheres at 350 for 1.5-2 hours.

Wrap cooked crab legs in bacon, and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

In a pot, add Velveeta and milk, and melt on low heat.

Place Bagel Bites on a sheet pan and bake, per directions.

Remove meat spheres from oven.

Cut center of the large sphere, fill with cheese and replace the cut top.

Cover all spheres with cooked bacon.

Insert cooked bacon-wrapped crab legs into the body.

Place Bagel Bites on the head as eyes.

CHOCOLATE BREAKFAST

Chocolate sunny side up eggs? Never been done before. Chocolate filled breakfast sausages? Never been done before. Chocolate covered bacon? Been done before...but whatever, ours is better. This breakfast is 100 percent chocolate all the way down to the potatoes. We're talking about clean cocoa. We're tweaking on flavor over here.

Recipe

5 Cups Waffle Mix

5 Cups Pancake Mix

90 Bacon Strips

1 Pint Chocolate Powder

5 lbs. Potatoes, Scalloped

16 oz. Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

5 Cups Chocolate Syrup

15 Cups Chocolate Milk

2 Cups Chocolate Vodka

½ Cup Whiskey

30 Breakfast Sausage Links

15 Pancakes

12 Chocolate Pop Tarts

2 Challah or Brioche Bread

1 Pint Nutella

36 Eggs

4 Cups Maple Syrup

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Mix waffle batter—add chocolate milk and syrup.

Mix pancake batter—add chocolate milk and syrup.

Lay bacon on sheet pan and cover with chocolate powder.

Poke center of Italian sausages with chopstick to make well, fill with chocolate syrup and twist the open end of the sausage.

Slice challah bread into 1.5 inches then slit hole in middle of each slice and fill with Nutella.

Mix chocolate powder and eggs in bowl to dip French toast.

Chop chocolate toaster pastry.

Peel potatoes and cut on mandolin to get nice, thin slices.

In a pan, cook potatoes and add chocolate powder, chocolate chip pieces, and chocolate peanut butter cups.

Cook pancake in pan, add chopped chocolate toaster pastry, and drizzle with chocolate sauce.

Cook waffles in waffle maker, sprinkle chocolate chips and drizzle chocolate sauce.

Add chocolate milk, vodka, whiskey, ice in blender and blend.

In a pan, cook French toast.

Separate egg yolk and whites, add chocolate powder to egg whites and whisk.

Cook in pan egg whites then add yolk in center.

Whisk together maple syrup and whiskey, add as much whiskey as desired.

Plate all components on board/platter.