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How To Fire Your Maid, By A Russian Oligarch

Just Can't Get The Staff

Important domestic advice from Maria Baibakova in “Russian Tatler”

articles/2014/10/01/how-to-fire-your-maid-by-a-russian-oligarch/baibkova_p3ju4n
Mike Coppola

It's not a problem not most of us have, but for those who do, it's a pressing social issue.

So thank goodness for Russian Tatler’s new guide on how to fire one's staff.

Russian Tatler’s advice comes from Maria Baibakova, the daughter of Oleg Baibakov, a billionaire mining executive.

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According to a report in The Times, from that paper’s Moscow correspondent Ben Hoyle, Ms. Baibakova also warns against using Filipino staff (whom she alleges suffer “frequent migraines”) in the belief that they won’t leak information about you because they can’t speak Russian.

Ms. Baibakova writes, “I don’t believe that this is correct. We forget that although they can’t speak Russian they are not deaf and blind as well. They understand everything.”

The Royalist is urgently contacting Russian Tatler to see this extraordinary document with our own eyes.

When it comes to firing staff, The Times reports that Ms. Baibakova says, “It needs to be done fast, clearly explaining the reason, without giving time for excuses and tears, observing all laws and agreements [for example paying two weeks’ wages], and—this is a must—with witnesses.”

These witnesses should be of the same gender as the employee, to avoid any suggestion of a “sexual subtext”.

In the document, which may well be a useful recruiting document for Neo-Marxists, Ms. Baibakova writes that it is important to apologise if one accuses one’ s maid of theft and subsequently discovers a mistake has been made.

“But don’t shed tears of remorse on her shoulder [and say]: “Oh, dear Olga, for god’s sake forgive me”. Do say ‘Olga, there has been a misunderstanding, for which I wanted to apologise.’ That’s all.”

And above all, don't try to make friends with the staff.

“Nothing good comes of it in the end. As a rule, you lose a good maid, but do not gain a sister or girl friend.”