Inside the Wild ‘Full House’ Porn Parody

Pornhub is branching out, turning the beloved ‘90s sitcom Full House into a sex-com.

As the story goes, a widowed father of three invites his best friend and brother-in-law to live with him to help raise his daughters. You may never look at the Tanner family the same way again.

In the NSFW Full House parody Full Holes, big sister BJ (“D.J.”) is caught with a mouthful, living up to her name. Impressed with her devil-may-care attitude, the varsity jacket-wearing recipient turns to her and says, “You’re cool as ice,” to which she replies, “And looser than a pair of Hammer pants.” Ah, childhood nostalgia.

When it comes to drafting these porn parodies, writer and director Lee Roy Myers tells The Daily Beast he was a fan of the ‘90s series. “I watched Full House. I was a TGIF kid. That's how I learned to write scripts full of wordplays. Every time I write a dick joke, I think of what Uncle Jesse would say. Then I add the word ‘dick.’”

Full Holes is Pornhub’s first original movie. And the timing is no coincidence. With the Netflix debut of Fuller House on Feb. 26, Pornhub took a page straight from their playbook, providing new original content via their already massive distribution model, and reinventing Full House in an even more “grown-up” way than the Netflix reboot.

“Netflix created the template for successful, original content creation and we’re providing the adult alternative,” says Pornhub Vice President Corey Price. “When we launched Pornhub Premium we proclaimed it the ‘Netflix of porn’ and now, with our introduction of Pornhub Originals, we are able to offer our fans unique content.”

Chances are if you grew up in the ‘90s you were watching Full House, and you’ll appreciate the lines “you got it, dude” or Stephanie Tanner’s “how rude”—a phrase actress Sydney Cole says she practiced for her role as Stuffme.

While the Olsen twins are absent from the Netflix reboot Fuller House, Myers was sure to include their character, “Little Muffchelle”—who has an identically dressed cousin, “Clamchelle”—in his version.

“I got very lucky. Ninety-nine percent of the porn stars that I thought looked most like adult versions of all the Full House characters were porn stars that I had worked with before,” says Myers. “I already knew that they could act, that they looked the part, and that their penetration skills were awesome. In porn we call that a triple-threat.”

Myers also put the annoying neighbor Kimmy Gibbler to good use. Chanel Preston plays up the XXX version of “Kimmy Gobbler” with the same spaced-out charm and loud ‘80s dance party wardrobe. Her character is clearly around to relieve the tension (pun intended) with lines like, “thanks for the dick you greasy monkey”—her way of thanking Uncle Jesse (or in this case, Uncle Jizzy) for the good time. Preston says if you watch the scene you can tell they were having a little too much fun with it. “We had to cut numerous times to get our giggles out after we said goofy things,” she recalls.

When Brooklyn Chase (“Fucky Donaldson”) discovered she was booked for a Full House parody, her first thought was: “Becky is the only adult woman on the show—how is this going to work?” Much like Fuller House, the girls in this are all grown up. Conflicted with feelings of nostalgia and the thrill of adding a new dimension to a treasured show, Chase explains her mixed feelings. “It was sort of bittersweet. I was so excited about doing this film but at the same time I feel like my childhood is ruined,” she says. “I grew up watching this, so for me the challenge was letting go of the show I watched at ten.”

Ryan McLane, who plays “Dandy Tanner,” isn’t sure what Bob Saget would think of the parody. “All that I can say is that I tried to depict Danny Tanner as accurately as possible and do the character justice,” says McLane. “I went back and watched some old clips of Full House and tried to get some of his mannerisms down.”

Though Saget is known for his sugary sweet and clean personality on-screen, his stand-up routines and book, Dirty Daddy, are anything but. If his explicit jokes are any indication, he may get a kick out of this parody. In his book, Saget wrote: “When we would go over the scripts [for Full House] together in the conference room with the producers and writers, we were all supposed to be taking notes but I’d be drawing penises on the scripts and showing them to Dave [Coulier] and John [Stamos]… The whole show for me was like a beautiful Jekyll and Hyde experience.”

Whereas Saget may be presumably more open-minded about the XXX version of his past hit, it’s harder to peg John Stamos’s reaction. The 51-year-old actor has called Fuller House “a labor of love” and told Jimmy Kimmel he’s been working on some sort of spinoff for years “to give credit to the legacy.”

Seth Gamble was thrilled to parody his favorite Full House character, Stamos’s Uncle Jesse, known in the adult version as Uncle Jizzy. “Who wasn’t a fan? I’m a ‘90s kid,” says Gamble. “It was cool to bring some humor into it and ham up the Stamos character.” And since Uncle Jesse was famous for his hair obsession, it was only fitting that Gamble don a wig to do the ‘do justice. “The wig was hilarious. We went old school Stamos. We didn’t go middle of the show Stamos. We went mullet Stamos,” he says.

Whether Full Holes ruins your childhood memories or plays into every fantasy you had, you can credit (or blame) Myers, the Steven Spielberg of porn parodies who’s tackled everything from Seinfeld: The XXX Parody to Game of Bones. And whatever your reaction is, he’s heard it before. Back when he did The Simpsons XXX Parody, Myers says fan comments ranged from “you killed my childhood” to “I hope you burn in hell” to “this is great.”