ISIS: Michelle Obama Is Worth $40

The newest issue of English-language ISIS propaganda mag Dabiq promises to bring slave markets to the West—and claims the first lady won’t fetch a large price.

“I swear by Allah, O you who feign to be knowledgeable and shout with falsehood in every gathering, surely the slave markets will be established against the will of the politically ‘correct’!” decries Umm Sumayyah al Muhajirah, an allegedly female columnist for Dabiq who penned a defense of the terror group’s slave trade. “And who knows, maybe Michelle Obama’s price won’t even exceed a third of a dīnār, and a third of a dīnār is too much for her!”

(A January estimate puts a single golden dinar at $139 USD.)

Umm Sumayyah has written for previous issues of the magazine, telling women that immigration to the caliphate is as obligatory for them as it is for men. (Her own name, al Muhajirah, suggests that she is an immigrant herself.)

In the six-page piece titled “Slave Girls or Prostitutes,” she defends the practice of taking slaves through war—saby—as inherently Islamic, a “great prophetic Sunnah [teachings of the prophet] containing many divine wisdoms and religious benefits.” She even decries ISIS supporters who initially denied reports of slave-taking “as if the soldiers of the Khilāfah had committed a mistake or evil.”

Firsthand accounts of slavery under ISIS reveal brutal sexual assaults and unlivable conditions. Recent reports by human rights groups even suggest that Yezidi women are opting for suicide rather than to continue living with ISIS masters—leading the jihadis to confiscate the head scarves the young women have allegedly used to hang themselves.

But for the columnist writing as Umm Sumayyah, the real human-rights atrocities are prostitutes working in the West—even those working of their own free will.

“A prostitute in your lands comes and goes, openly committing sin,” she writes. “She lives by selling her honor, within the sight and hearing of the deviant scholars from whom we don’t hear even a faint sound.”

“As for the slave-girl that was taken by the swords of men following the cheerful warrior, […] then her enslavement is in opposition to human rights and copulation with her is rape?! What is wrong with you?”