Jaycee Dugard desperately hoped for freedom while being held prisoner for 18 years by her alleged tormentors, newly surfaced excerpts from her diary show. "It feels like I'm sinking... this is supposed to be my life to do with what I like... but once again he has taken it away," Dugard wrote in a 2004 entry, the AP reports. "How many times is he allowed to take it away from me?" she wrote. "I am afraid he doesn't see how the things he says makes me a prisoner." Philip Garrido is believed to have fathered two children with Dugard while allegedly holding her captive with the help of his wife, Nancy. Dugard was captured when she was 11 years old, and rescued last year at age 29.