Memoirist and iCarly alum Jennette McCurdy shared a disturbing email she received from her abusive late mother, reading the harrowing message aloud during an appearance on this week’s episode of Red Table Talk, a clip of which was shared with People on Tuesday. Excerpted from the 30-year-old’s new book, I’m Glad My Mom Died, the email was written by Debra McCurdy after she reportedly glimpsed a photo of her daughter with a male friend on TMZ. “I am so disappointed in you,” Debra wrote, according to Jennette, who read the email in full. “You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little—all caps—SLUT, A FLOOZY, ALL USED UP.” Debra went on to call her daughter “an ugly monster,” saying she and her brothers wanted to disown the then-Nickelodeon star. “Love, Mom—or should I say Deb since I am no longer your mother?” Jennette read, beginning to laugh as she concluded, “P.S. Send money for a new fridge; ours broke.” The full episode of Red Table Talk will air Wednesday.