Jimmy Kimmel took a break from roasting President Donald Trump on Wednesday to spend a large chunk of his monologue brutally mocking Jared Kushner.
As the late-night host explained, the president’s “pretty little son-in-law” went on Fox & Friends Wednesday morning to declare the administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic a “great success story” even as total cases surpassed one million and deaths approached 60,000.
“And irony is now as dead as his eyes,” Kimmel joked.
But that was not the only moment from Kushner’s interview that caught the host’s eye. He also promised that the federal government would “make sure that the Americans will have all the food supply they need.”
“If we are they...what are you? It?!” Kimmel asked. “I think we may have just happened upon proof that Jared is a robot.”
“And here’s more proof of that,” he continued. “Somehow, the Ivanka 3000-Bot seemed to know in advance that we would be goofing on him.” Kimmel played another clip of Kushner telling Fox, “The eternal lockdown crowd can make jokes on late-night television, but the reality is that the data’s on our side.”
“I love the idea that he’s watching late-night television to see if we make jokes about him,” Kimmel said before telling a few more just in case.
“Jared Kushner is so dead inside the president calls him ‘Melania,’” he began. “Jared Kushner looks like if white privilege had a baby with raw cookie dough. Jared Kushner looks like a Pez dispenser of Young Sheldon.” And finally, “Even Jared from Subway is like ‘this Jared gives me the creeps!’”
“What was I talking about?” Kimmel added. “Oh yes, the virus. The idea that Jared thinks things are going great is nuts.”
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