"95 percent of Bigfoots are left-handed. So I knew his first punch would be a left hook. I lean back without moving my feet. Sometimes the best footwork is no footwork."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"Nightperverts usually attack from behind with a choke hold. Do not be overcome with fear. Fighters fight best when they are not afraid."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"These chicks have just finished watching my instructional video How to Have Sex with the World Champion Part 3 in 3-D and are about to show me what they learned."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"While I'm juggling, I open the cans with my bare hands and eat the beans. Then I eat the metal cans and work on my teeth strength. And that's when I know I'm finished with this juggling exercise."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"I train at the Grand Canyon every day. My spaceship gets me to it from anywhere in the U.S. in under 6 minutes. It also lets me travel to other planets, where I can train under different gravity and oxygen levels, which are good for improving jumping ability and lung power."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"Sizing is the ability to make yourself instantly taller or shorter. I learned sizing in 1978 when I time-traveled to 2345."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
"Making your opponent miss is a great confidence crusher. But if your timing is off, you'll get your brains knocked out."
Courtesy of Judah Friedlander
How to Beat Up Anybody: An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by the World Champion
By Judah Friedlander
208 pages.
It Books $17.99
