CAPITALIST IMPLANT

Kim Jong Un Orders Urgent Crackdown on Boob Jobs

Sultry swimmers are reportedly driving the trend.

Kim Jong Un is deploying undercover spies to bust North Koreans getting breast implants. Augmentation has been deemed “anti-socialist” by Pyongyang City’s Ministry of Public Safety, after a lift in popularity among women in their 20s and 30s. Citing a source, Metro reports prosecutors slammed two suspected patients and a surgeon for being “corrupted by bourgeois customs,” and having “committed rotten capitalist acts.” “Strike teams have been deployed to central areas of Pyongyang for the crackdown that has just begun, and they are operating in civilian clothes,” a source told South Korean outlet Daily NK. Swimwear season is reportedly driving the trend. The source said it was an act of “anti-socialism” and could result in “criminal punishment,” including labor camps. They added that the government’s crackdown came partly in response to a growing number of side effects from unregulated practices. Given the illegal status of the surgery, procedures are reportedly being carried out in private properties using silicone imported from China.