First lady Melania Trump is finally living in the White House, which means Laura Benanti’s Melania Trump finally returned to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Tuesday night. “It’s like their second honeymoon,” the host said. “And for Donald, his fourth.”
Asked how she’s enjoying her time in the White House so far, the “first lady” replied, “Oh, I couldn’t be happier. See?” before making the same pouty face she always makes. “These are my happy eyes,” she added. “It was so lonely in New York doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I called it my prison of freedom.”
As for why it took her so long to move in with her husband, Benanti’s Melania said, “Well, after the inauguration, Barron had to finish school. Then I had to wait for the Comcast guy to turn off my cable. But now, there is nothing. No reason whatsoever why I shouldn’t be in the White House. You could look for an excuse, but trust me, you will not find one,” she resignedly sighed.
Later, Colbert’s first lady also weighed in for the first time on that infamous hand slap delivered to the president during their trip to Israel. “Fake news, Stephen,” she said. “It wasn’t a hand slap. His hands are so small, I thought it was a mosquito.”
“Here’s the thing,” she concluded. “America took a vow, and Donald Trump is our president, for better or worse, for richer or even richer, in sickness and in no health care. And we must honor that. No matter how often America fantasizes about being with Justin Trudeau. We stay, we make the best of it, and you’ll find in your greatest moments of doubt, you can always drink.”
Hoisting a glass of red wine, she declared, “Make America grape again!”