THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD
Meet the Hero Who Duped Ohio Into Believing Limp Bizkit Was Having a Concert at a Gas Station
Thousands of Limp Bizkit fans were left crying into their copies of Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water after an advertised concert turned out to be a hoax.
If 9,000 people camp out at the Sunoco on Wayne Avenue in Dayton, Ohio, tonight expecting Limp Bizkit to play “Rollin’” next to the diesel pump, do not blame Brian Baker.
“I made the event for 2017—and then the people decided that they want it now,” he said. “If they decide to show up tonight, that’s up to Fred and Limp Bizkit.”
This week, Baker created a Facebook event called “Limp Bizkit Comes to the Sunoco on Wayne.” This may come as a shock, but Limp Bizkit is not playing a Monster Energy Drink-sponsored concert at an Ohio gas station on 4/20.
These people had Faith. So much Faith, in fact, that the Dayton Police Department had to step in.
“There is no concert at the gas station,” is a sentence someone at the Dayton Police Department actually had to write.
Fred Durst did not tweet “Party with us at the Sunoco in Dayton on 4/20,” either, report the buzzkills at the DPD.
But it was too late. At this point, T- shirts and sweatshirts were being made. It was not just the one concert anymore. It is now the Limp Bizkit Sunoco Tour 2016.
Daytonite Josh Gwin even uploaded some “live” footage from the event, showing throngs of animated Ohioans rocking out to some of 1999’s most remembered numetal jams outside the Wayne Ave Sunoco.
Baker, who is in Dayton rock group Brat Curse, isn’t sure how it got to this level.
“We all just passed it around. And we’re all ’n together now, breaking stuff,” he punned to The Daily Beast, remarkably unsubtly. “It’s just one of those days.”
According to fellow event administrator Andy Rowe, it really took off when Fred Durst really tweeted about it on Tuesday.
An anxious Limp Bizkit fan wrote to Durst asking if this was happening (“This is right by my house I need answers,” she wrote.) “NOT TRUE—don’t let them pull one on you,” Durst responded.
But that had already happened.
“I have never laughed so hard like I have these last two days, yet understood so little about why it’s funny in the first place,” Rowe told The Daily Beast. “I keep asking myself, ‘Why does it seem like the whole world is bent on seeing Limp Bizkit play at this gas station?’”
At 1:30 on Wednesday, Rowe says the event page was receiving 10 posts per minute, including important questions such as, “Who’s tryin’ to slam some smack and have unprotected sex in the portapotties? [sic]”
One Facebook user, apparently at the gas station, took a picture of the hatch of an 18-wheeler along with the caption, “Tour bus is here at Pump 2 ready to set up.”
When The Daily Beast called the gas station, a woman who declined to give her name stated, “There is no concert” when she picked up the phone.
When asked how many phone calls the business received today, she said “lots.” Asked if the Sunoco had anyone swing by to get in line for a concert, she said “no,” then ended the phone call.
Workers at the Wayne Ave Sunoco may not be happy, but Rowe says the band who once wrote the lyric “Hey kid, take my advice: You don’t want to step into a big pile of shit” has done wonders for Dayton.
“Everyone in the scene here has grown super excited about just pushing it. It’s become something that is bringing everyone together in the weirdest way,” he said. “We invent things here that are core to partying: ice cube trays, pop top cans, airplanes, cash registers. The stars have been aligning for this party for a long time.”
He even thinks this could be a Dayton staple on 4/20 every year: Have the world’s worst party at the gas station.
The tickets say 2017 on them, anyway. Some guy on Twitter, of course, even designed and printed out those tickets. Both Baker and Rowe are hoping Fred Durst does his civic duty and honors them.
After all, when was the last time 9,000 people were excited to go to a Limp Bizkit concert?
“They just want the Bizkit,” Baker said.
Then Baker, who seemed unfazed by his newfound celebrity, said he had to get back to work. He was on break, and he had a busy night ahead not going to a Limp Bizkit concert.
“I would like to say one, important thing before I go, though,” he said. “That we did it all for the nookie.”