BUNGA BUNGA

Missing Berlusconi Witness Found

In Mexico.

Lifetime Movie Channel, take notes—this is muy bueno material. Here’s the rundown: Karima El Mahroug is the key witness in the Silvio Berlusconi sex trial. Berlusconi is accused of paying her for sex when she was underage. El Mahroug was supposed to testify Monday, but went missing. El Mahroug—who’s better known by her stage name, “Ruby the Heartstealer”—was discovered in Mexico Tuesday. Ms. Heartstealer has alerted her lawyer that she is in Mexico with her boyfriend and baby, and will not return to Milan until January, thank you very much. Berlusconi denies the charges, and El Mahroug, now 20, says she never had sex with him.