CHEERS FOR BEARDS

New York Yankees Make Historic Move on Facial Hair

The Yankees have finally moved into the 21st Century but with some conditions.

After decades of enforcing a strict facial hair policy, the New York Yankees’ Managing General Partner, Hal Steinbrenner, released a statement announcing the Yankees would enter modernity and amend the policy. Now fans must wait in suspense to learn whether Aaron Judge will grow a beard. “In recent weeks I have spoken to a large number of former and current Yankees—spanning several eras—to elicit their perspectives on our longstanding facial hair and grooming policy,” Steinbrenner said in a statement posted to the Yankees’ X account. In surprisingly solemn language, Steinbrenner said, “These most recent conversations are an extension of ongoing internal dialogue that dates back several years. Ultimately the final decision rests with me, and after great consideration, we will be amending our expectations to allow our players and uniformed personnel to have well-groomed beards moving forward.” Steinbrenner did not state whether mustaches will be encouraged. “It is the appropriate time to move beyond the familiar comfort of our former policy,” Steinbrenner concluded.