ALMOST AS GOOD AS A STATUE

Which Oscar Loser Made an ‘Abbott Elementary’ Cameo?

A hint: You may recognize him from “The Holdovers.” Or, wait, was it “The Hangover”?

Bradley Cooper may not have picked up the Best Actor Oscar for his performance in Maestro—that went to Oppenheimer’s Cillian Murphy instead—but he did get something equally as wonderful: a cameo on Abbott Elementary. Between an Oscar and a chance to meet the cast of Abbott…actually, no. I’d take the Oscar. Sorry, Bradley. At least this is half as cool!

Cooper stars as himself in the episode, titled “Willard R. Abbott.” He’s just visiting the Philly area when he runs into one of Melissa’s (Lisa Ann Walter) students at a nearby sandwich shop.

“Whenever I’m in Philly, you know the deli across the street?” Cooper asks, greeting a flurry of starry-eyed teachers. “That’s my first stop. My dad used to always take me there. They have the best hoagies in the city!”

Drop the Yelp link, Bradley. Although all the adult educators are using the opportunity to snap selfies and stare at the handsome star, the kids are a little confused. “If you’re famous, are you in Spider-Man?” one kid asks, raising an eyebrow. Cooper says that, although he’s not buddy buddy with Spidey, he is in Guardians of the Galaxy.

“No you’re not!” shouts a suspicious Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis). Cooper has to prove himself with the Rocket raccoon voice, but the janitor is still a little wary of his star power.

The other teachers volunteer other Cooper movies they love—Janine (Quinta Brunson) is a big fan of He’s Just Not That Into You. “I just loved you in The Holdovers,” Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph). “It was so heartwarming.” Janine quickly corrects her colleague: Cooper was in The Hangover, not The Holdovers. She should be looking for Paul Giamatti to compliment instead.

With that, Cooper departs from Abbott Elementary, but that’s not the last guest star this episode has to offer. June Diane Raphael returns as Elizabeth Washington of the Education Board, announcing that Abbott Elementary will be a historical landmark in the state of Philadelphia. Unfortunately, a plethora of Philadelphians grow upset over the fact that Willard R. Abbott was a problematic, racist man.

Perhaps Abbott Elementary should rename the building to “Bradley Cooper Elementary” considering the events of this week’s episode. He seems to have a more positive effect on the city of Philadelphia than Willard R. Abbott does.

Fletcher PetersEntertainment Reporter

Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.