SEEING GHOSTS

Jeffrey Epstein Hijacks ‘SNL’ in Twisted Trump Cold Open

The notorious sex trafficker served as the president’s Ghost of Christmas Past.

For its Season 51 finale, Saturday Night Live threw everything at the wall in a shocking, Jeffrey Epstein-filled cold open.

The sketch featured President Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) being visited by the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein, played for the first time by this week’s host, SNL legend Will Ferrell.

When Trump told his old pal that his approval ratings were in the 30s, Ferrell’s Epstein replied, “Oh, the 30s? Gross. Call me when it hits 17.”

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The cold open poked fun at the alleged friendship between Trump and the convicted sex trafficker, a topic that SNL has mocked ruthlessly at the “Weekend Update” desk all season.

“Man, we had some fun times together, didn’t we, Donny?“ Epstein mused. ”We should have taken more pictures.”

The sketch ended with the two singing “Just the Two of Us,” by Bill Withers and Grover Washington, Jr.

At one point, it looked like the two were about to kiss, but Epstein playfully turned his head away.

The episode is the show’s last chance until the fall to take any shots at the Trump administration, so the cold open used a Christmas Carol-themed format to pay tribute to three of the season’s most iconic impressions: Ashley Padilla’s Kristi Noem, Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth, and Aziz Ansari’s Kash Patel.

For Noem, who Trump fired as Secretary of Homeland Security in March, the vision showed Noem six months from now—starring in ads for vacuum cleaners.

“It’s the best way to clean up that mess your dog made, besides a gun,” Noem joked, in what might be SNL‘s final joke about how Noem once bragged about shooting her own dog.

Ferrell’s Epstein showed a vision of the future where Hegseth and Patel were still partying in a bar together, much like they were in last week’s cold open.

When Hegseth started reading a podcast ad promoting “Poland Sprung, the first-ever hard water,” Trump took it as a good sign.

“Well, if Pete’s podcasting, I guess that means that the war in Iran is over,” Trump said.

Epstein replied, “Yep, we came in second.”

Ansari’s Patel also delivered his own ad read, making fun of the real Patel’s hobby of creating personalized bourbon bottles.

“Shoutout to our sponsor: my own personal line of cologne, Incompetence for Men,” Patel said. “Every bottle is full of my forehead sweat from my many Senate grillings.”

The cold open also poked fun at Trump’s cankles, which received renewed media scrutiny after the president’s whirlwind visit to China this week.

Trump’s swollen ankles, combined with the bruising on his hands, have spurred constant health concerns around the 79-year-old president throughout his second term. SNL‘s Trump appeared to share those concerns:

“Boy, are my legs swollen,” Trump said. He pulled a prop leg onto his desk and remarked, “That doesn’t look good at all.”

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Michael Boyle

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