BOYZ VS MEN

John Mulaney’s Fight With 3 Teen Boys Lasted Just 47 Seconds

Some are calling it the most one-sided Netflix fight since Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul.

Netflix viewers were treated to the fight of the century on Wednesday night as comedian John Mulaney stepped into the ring to fight three teenage boys on live TV—and ended up losing spectacularly.

The comedian had been hyping the showdown for weeks ahead of the finale of his Netflix talk show Everybody’s Live With John Mulaney, leaving many wondering whether he was serious or if the whole thing was an elaborate prank.

Mulaney however, was deadly serious. And after spending weeks training for the fight and examining the legality of Californian child-fighting laws (it’s legal as long as the parent or guardian signs off on it first!), he confirmed during his opening monologue on Wednesday that the fight was indeed going ahead.

“I will fight three 14-year-olds in a fight to the death, reputationally speaking,” he said. “We’ve been hyping this fight all month and the response to all of this hype has been overwhelming.”

The fight, which served as the climax to the episode, took place in a wrestling ring and saw the three 14-year-old boys, dubbed “The Truant Teens,” square up against Mulaney whilst wearing matching suits and protective headgear. The referee explained the ground rules - no punches or kicks were allowed, and the winner would be decided by whoever managed to make the other side submit first.

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But after weeks of buildup, the fight itself proved to be a remarkably one-sided affair. As soon as the bell rang, the teens swarmed Mulaney, grabbing him by the waist and attempting to trip him up by grabbing his legs and maneuvering behind the outgunned host.

It didn’t take long for the Truant Teens to wrestle Mulaney to the ground with their combined might, where they then proceeded to put him in a headlock from which he had no room to escape, forcing him to submit. The entire bout was in less than a minute, with Mulaney tapping out after just 47 seconds.

Immediately following his defeat, the show closed out with a surprise performance from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, who performed their song “Tha Crossroads” while awarding a Championship belt to the boys.

Back in April, Mulaney revealed he had been scammed by a fake manager claiming to represent Bone Thugs while attempting to book them for his show.

“After a little investigating, I have come to believe that the man I was talking to was not the manager of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. In fact, several sites list a different person,” he admitted. “I’m concerned now that I never had any direct contact with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.”

Tom SandersReporter

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