YIKES

Kenan Thompson Jokes Zendaya ‘Too Old’ to Date Leonardo DiCaprio at Emmys

The longest-running “SNL” cast member used his Emmy hosting gig to prove why, in his own words, he will never get his own Netflix stand-up special.

The last time NBC aired the Emmy Awards in 2018, co-hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che ended up being a bit upstaged by their Saturday Night Live castmate Kenan Thompson. So it makes sense that the network would turn to SNL’s longest-running cast member to host the big night himself this year.

The showman began the evening in a full black tuxedo and top hat, introducing himself as the “mayor of television” before making the questionable decision to eschew jokes in favor of a series of elaborate dance numbers set to classic TV theme songs.

And yet, somehow, things didn’t get much better when Thompson did actually deliver an opening monologue of sorts about 20 minutes later. “Most of you know me from Saturday Night Live,” he said by way of introduction. “Some of you know me from my NBC sitcom Kenan… just not enough of you to keep it from getting canceled.”

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After that came a promo of sorts for NBC’s Peacock streaming service followed by a series of weak jokes at the expense of its competitors.

“Now, a lot of the shows up for Best Drama were hard to watch,” Thompson said. “Stranger Things was hard to watch because it was so scary. Squid Game was hard to watch because it was so violent. Yellowjackets was hard to watch because it was on Showtime.” He then described Squid Game as a “contest you enter when you’re in massive debt and desperate for money,” before adding, “joining the cast next season is Netflix.”

Thompson’s hardest-hitting line was aimed at a movie star who wasn’t in the room—even if it closely resembled jokes random people on Twitter have been making for weeks. “Zendaya just turned 26 last week, happy birthday,” he said. “Twenty-six is a weird age in Hollywood. I mean, you’re young enough to play a high school student but too old to date Leonardo DiCaprio.”

By the end of the mid-show monologue, Thompson was predicting that Netflix “ain’t never going to give me a comedy special” after all of his jokes about their financial struggles. He may be one of the most talented sketch performers in TV history, but if this was his audition to get into stand-up, he should probably stick to SNL.

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