I’m starting to feel like a lunatic for not enjoying what seems to be Sutton's audition for “iconic Housewife” status on this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. My Twitter (now X) feed is still going crazy over her “name ’em!” moment from two weeks ago, even though it barely registered to me as an iconic line at the time. I think her interrogation of Kyle is both sloppy and not aggressive enough—which is why Garcelle has to do her dirty work once again in tonight’s episode.
I’m also becoming less convinced that we’re going to be hit with some huge bombshell about Kyle and Mauricio’s divorce or her relationship with Morgan Wade, who makes her long-awaited appearance tonight. (Wouldn’t it be in Kyle’s best interest to reveal something before the season started for ratings?) If these women know how to do anything, it's drag out a nothingburger storyline for an entire season. Just ask one of tonight’s guest stars, Denise Richards.
But I’m still hopeful and open to any surprises that this season will possibly bring. So far, Crystal has exceeded my expectations. In tonight’s episode, she’s finally stepping into being a shady Housewife—at least in her confessionals—as opposed to a quiet observer of everyone else’s drama. Speaking of that, we also meet the newest cast member, Annemarie Wiley, who Crystal apparently has beef with at some point. Wiley’s appearance is pretty untimely, given that her husband, ex-NFL player Marcellus Wiley, was just accused of raping a former college classmate in one of the many lawsuits filed ahead of New York’s Adult Survivors Act expiring last week.
I was initially very excited to have another Black Housewife. However, she and her husband have spent the past week making flippant Instagram posts, deleting critics’ comments, and not-so-subtly calling Wiley’s alleged victim a liar. (It goes without saying that the details of the lawsuit are pretty bad.) Even though she gets off to a good start in this episode, she’s officially outed herself as a loser. I think this newbie is pretty much dead on arrival.
But let’s finally get into this episode, which unfortunately only revs up towards the end during a dramatic dinner party. In the first half, Kyle tells Erika and Dorit about her recent arguments with Sutton. And she’s decided to frame Sutton as an alcoholic. Dorit agrees Sutton may have a problem. But Crystal, who’s suddenly very feisty, calls BS on their smear campaign in her confessional. Meanwhile, Erika meets with her new manager, Alexis, to discuss how to rebuild her music career. (I had to laugh when she told Erika she was once “on top of the world,” referring to stint as Roxie Hart in Chicago.) In another scene, Dorit goes over to Sutton’s house to help her look at potential suitors provided by a matchmaker, which was just as compelling as you would expect.
Meanwhile, Garcelle is still trying to squeeze some familial trauma out of her perfectly polite and well-adjusted twin boys. I’m not sure how many more scenes I can watch of Garcelle crying about her mommy guilt, as valid as those feelings might be. We just don’t have any evidence that she’s a bad mom! And it’s not like her twins are acting out. Meanwhile, her eldest son Oliver made a complete ass out of himself on Vanderpump Rules last season, and she’s not willing to get in that. He’s the one she should be having all of these heart-to-hearts with.
Likewise, she and Jax rehash her ex-husband Michael’s cheating. And Jax reveals that he knew about this infidelity since he was 8, thanks to a leaked email Garcelle sent to CAA about it. Garcelle is devastated to hear that Jax knew about it earlier than she thought. Jax assures her that he’s not angry about it. At this moment, I wanted to jump through my computer, grab Garcelle by the shoulders, and say “You’re a good mom! Your kids are perfect!!”
Then we meet Kyle’s new bestie (possibly crush) Morgan Wade when they get some new ink. For weeks, the promise of Wade, with her nasally drawl, saying “she stalked me,” has haunted our ears. And now we finally get to see the country singer and Kyle converse in what seems to be a place they visit pretty often together.
Kyle explains that she stumbled upon Morgan’s music and instantly became a fan. So she followed her on Instagram and posted one of her songs, which got Morgan’s attention. Ever since, they’ve been bosom buddies (or rumored lovers, according to TikTok and Reddit.) Kyle claims they connected over their sober and fitness-heavy lifestyles. Although, she says that Morgan’s been sober for six years, which makes it seems like Kyle stopped drinking for her and not like they already had that in common. I would assume the same goes with Kyle’s constant working out and obviously the tattoos. If she’s not in love with Morgan, as the internet has decided, she very much wants to be her.
So Kyle gets another one of her Ocean City boardwalk tattoos, this time a planet and a few stars on her lower abdomen. She also tattoos a circle onto Morgan and has never looked so happy. When she comes home, she shows Maurico, who’s clearly tired of this rebellious-teenager phase. He says he hopes he’ll be able to see her tattoo, implying that they aren’t having sex. And Kyle just gives him a shrug.
Finally, we get to the big event of the episode, a THC/CBD dinner Kyle is hosting even though she doesn’t want to partake. (Half the guests don’t want to, either.) It turns out to be a pretty star-studded gathering. Of course, Kyle’s former personal assistant Justin Sylvester is present, as well as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick. Sutton shows up with Cynthia Bailey, who gets no formal introduction despite being one of the most iconic Real Housewives! It’s honestly pretty rude. Annemarie is there, and Crystal tells us in a confessional that “that bitch is nosy!” Denise Richards and Camille Grammer also show up, clearly looking to start trouble.
So everyone sits down for their meal, while Sutton and Kyle go to another room for yet another fruitless convo. Sutton explains that she overreacted in Las Vegas because her ex-husband just told her he was moving to London and thought he might take her son, James, with him. I would say this is a legitimately stressful situation for a mother, but Kyle brushes this off as another one of Sutton’s privileged-lady problems. She says Sutton always has excuses for everything—as does Kyle. So they’re back to square one.
Crystal tells them to hurry the hell up so they can eat. When they finally sit down for dinner, Kyle tells the group that Sutton’s been making veiled threats to her about her personal life. Sutton vaguely inquires about her new habits again before Annemarie tells her that she’s not being specific enough. Finally, Garcelle begrudgingly points out Kyle’s new ring. Sutton was the one who pointed out her missing wedding band at the start of the episode, but, of course, she choked!
Now, Garcelle’s pretending like she’s the one curious about Kyle’s marriage when it’s Sutton who’s been gossiping the whole time. There’s something about Garcelle questioning Kyle, though, that makes this conversation seem less rude because they all start joking about receiving apology jewelry from their ex-husbands. Kyle insists that she bought herself a new ring because she felt like it. She also points out how silly it is for Sutton to attack her fitness habits when Sutton “doesn’t eat,” which gags everyone.
Kyle also says she doesn’t drink anymore because “if [she] has one glass of wine, [she] feels depressed the next day.” Everyone’s shocked to finally see Kyle slowly unravel before them. And it seems like this dinner will get even more dramatic when Denise apparently confronts Erika about God knows what. These women really know how to make the most out of a supper.