Saturday Night Live star Colin Jost reprised one of the show’s most popular political impressions from last season: Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.
Introduced while triumphantly shotgunning a beer, Jost’s Hegseth appeared on this week’s cold open to urge Republicans to vote in the upcoming midterms.
“I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote,” Hegseth told his supporters.
He added, “Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight. Our warriors all have high T, testosterone. Yeah, I’m talking muscles, huge. Veins, throbbing. Balls, gone.”
Referencing the real Hegseth’s bizarre recent attempts at poetry, Jost’s Hegseth read out a poem he wrote for his voter outreach efforts.
“No D-E-I, no guy on guy,” Hegseth said. “No fatsos, no fuggos, no camel toes. No weirdos, no beardos, no Jills who became Joes.”
Hegseth’s poem ended with a whimper: “In conclusion, vote, I guess.”
The cold open also featured cast member Marcello Hernandez reprising his role as Trump’s Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
Referencing Trump’s apparent declining popularity with Latino voters, the GOP operatives asked Rubio to send a message that would inspire Latino Republicans to show up to the polls.
“Oh my God, this guy tricked us,” Hernandez’s Rubio said in Spanish about Trump. Rubio complained about Trump invading Iran, and the president’s unhealthy daily diet of chicken nuggets and hamburgers.
“One day I say to him, ‘Mr. Trump, how about a salad?’ And the guy just—boom—shoves it right in my face,” Rubio vented.
The cold open aired as Republicans face a difficult political environment heading into the 2026 midterms.
With voters angered over rising inflation and Trump’s unpopular war in Iran, election guru Nate Silver estimated on Friday that Republicans are down a full 9 points in the congressional generic ballot.
Silver put Democrats as the clear favorite to win back the House, and wrote that they are slightly favored to win back the Senate as well.
