The deadline for the Justice Department to release the Epstein files is Friday, and Stephen Colbert thinks President Donald Trump might be a goner.
“It’s Epstein Files Eve,” Colbert declared in his Thursday monologue. “Don’t forget to leave Santa some cookies. And a barf bag.”
Quoting from CNN, Colbert explained, “The DOJ specifically has to release ‘searchable and downloadable’ copies.’”
Colbert continued, “And here’s the kicker: The law says records can’t be withheld, delayed, or redacted due to concerns about embarrassment, reputational harm, or political sensitivity.”
Breaking into a Trump impression, Colbert joked, “OK, but what if—and hear me out here—what if this is the end of the road for you and you’ve wriggled out of everything else, but for some reason this is the one they won’t let go of, no matter how many East Wings you tear down?"
His Trump impression continued, “You can see the end is in sight, which is crazy because you’ve always believed that nothing bad could ever happen to you because the world’s an illusion and you’re the only one that’s real.”
“How about that?” Colbert’s Trump asked. “Do I still have to release them? Yes?”
Colbert’s monologue comes nearly a month after Congress voted near-unanimously to force the Epstein files’ release.
Trump’s relationship with infamous sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein was put under particular scrutiny after July 2025, when the Trump administration suddenly started downplaying its importance after years of promising voters answers.
One bright side for Trump is that Attorney General Pam Bondi can redact information from the files if it interferes with an active federal investigation. Prominent lawmakers have warned she may exploit this loophole to protect her boss.
If that strategy doesn’t work, Colbert joked that Trump could try another approach.
Returning to his Trump impression, Colbert said, “How about this one: Joe Biden was Epstein the whole time. How about that? Anything?”
