OMG, I Want to Rent That House: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

La Datcha, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (Vrbo): This summer it’s all about partying—ahem—embracing life like we’re back in the spring breaks of our youth. There is no destination that embodies this spirit like Cabo San Lucas. But, let’s be honest, we don’t really want to return to Spring Break Summer 2006. Never fear, La Datcha isn’t your college-age Cabo. The past few years (OK, decades), have made us a little older, a little wiser, and a little more demanding of luxury. So this year, do Cabo in a 20,000 square foot mansion called La Datcha that will meet all of your Summer 2021 dreams, including those you haven’t even thought to imagine yet.

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La Datcha was built as part of the luxury hotel portfolio of Russian businessman Oleg Tinkov, and it shares its name with the billionaire tycoon’s superyacht that made waves (pun absolutely intended) when it debuted in mid-2020. While the Cabo mansion’s fraternal, seagoing twin can break through 16-inch ice and take you on expeditions to Antarctica, the land-bound La Datcha has all the amenities and staff to make you want to recreate Downton Abbey, modern Mexico-style.

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“It took me several years to bring the project in Cabo San Lucas to life. I was very lucky to buy this piece of coastal land, managing to build a house that embodies my vision of life and design,” Tinkov said of his creation. The billionaire may be currently embroiled in tax and health struggles, but his vision of life will have you embracing your own little moment of zen while dining at this table in the middle of the great, wide infinity pool.

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Hammocks are for ordinary old beach vacation homes. At La Datcha, you can sway the day away with a good book and a water-bottle full of rosé (we swear, it’s the only option when you’re concerned about spillage) in a large swinging saucer.

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In the winter, you can see migrating whales from the porch (or hot tub) at La Datcha. In the summer, you can do your best impression of a beached whale while lounging the day away.

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The property was named after the word for a Russian country cabin and the decor blends its parental influences—local Mexican design and artisanship is combined with touches of Russian style. As if dropping $23,000 a night on Pacific Ocean views wasn’t inspiration enough, the colorful global decor should give you plenty of ideas for your next creative project (a must given that you will eventually have to pay off this hefty vacation bill).

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This is more of a holiday compound than a holiday villa. La Datcha is made up of three conjoined structures. But no matter where you are, rest assured that there will always be gorgeous views. (Phew!)

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The house officially sleeps 15, though, in our humble opinion, it’s big enough to host a tiny nation. With a full table, your daily bill will come to a humble $1,533. On the plus side, La Datcha puts the chic in all-inclusive: breakfast, lunch, and dinner all come with the house. But when you’re playing with billionaires, remember, there are always caveats. If you’d prefer the gourmet menu rather than the included one, it will cost you extra. As will dipping into Tinkov’s personal wine collection of more than 1,500 bottles sourced from around the world.

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Speaking of all-inclusive, if you’ve ever dreamed of having a chef, butler, housekeeper, and chauffeur on call, now is your time to shine! Except here, you and your 14 closest (or luckiest) friends will have access to three chefs, five butlers, six housekeepers, two chauffeurs (that come with a car each), as well as a masseuse and a personal trainer. Eighteen members of staff for 15 people? Now that’s rich-people math!

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Ready to relax? Let us count the ways! In addition to the vacation must-haves—plentiful sitting areas indoors and out—La Datcha offers a gym with a Turkish bath, a sauna, a steam room, and a snow room (a room to freeze your little tushy off—for good health, of course!—for any other rubes like us who had never heard of this posh invention), plus an infinity pool that might just make the Pacific Ocean jealous.

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Generally when on vacation, we like to steer clear of the things that remind us of our daily obligations, like gyms and counting steps and calories. But when your vacation home comes with a gym nicer than any you’ve ever been in as well as your very own personal trainer, who can resist. It’s not work if it’s this stylish!

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There are 10 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms across the La Datcha property. But more importantly, there are two master bedrooms, one with a private garden, a hot tub, and a fireplace, the other with a private terrace and a jacuzzi.

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Almost all of the other eight bedrooms have ocean views, but that’s not something you’ll have to worry about. Like securing a spot in the free-for-all Southwest Airlines boarding line, we know you’re cunning enough to call dibs early.

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We’ve already told you about most of the many amenities here, but the list is really endless. Add to that media room with karaoke, ping pong table, fire pit, and beach access right outside your door. With all of this, it’s hard to imagine you would ever want to step foot away from La Datcha, but if there is a touch of the wanderer in your spirit, downtown Cabo and the marina are both a close chauffeured drive away.

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This summer, lounge around your massive infinity pool telling quaint little stories about your romp through Cabo when you were younger. While the chef whips up your next cocktail and the housekeepers bring you a fresh towel and the masseuse preps for your impending massage, you can laugh at your younger self taking comfort in the knowledge that La Datcha might just set a new stratospherically high standard of luxury for the next two decades of your life. We wish the best of luck to your bank account.

Book Your Stay: La Datcha, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico: $23,000/night via Vrbo